What to Expect When You're NOT Expecting

We're Getting There

2011-01-18T04:12:00.000-08:00

So...sleep has been going a bit better. I've begun topping off S with a few ounces of formula after every feeding. It takes a bit of time, but I'm finding a full belly all day long helps with the sleep at night more than just a top off in the evening. After some feedings he takes an extra ounce, after others he takes 3. It just depends. But, the important thing is we are back to sleeping til 5:30 or 6...and on 2 occasions a little bit later. Phew.

Sleeeeeeep...I miss it.

2011-01-06T12:25:00.000-08:00

So. Sawyer will be 6 months in less than a week. And I hate to admit it, but I am still up once for feeding with him each night. Yes, there have been 3 days in the past 175 that he has slept until after 6 a.m. but they are few and far between.

This is new ground for me. Grayson was sleeping through the night every couple nights at 2 1/2 months. Then at 4 months I did a little tough love and over the course of 3 nights he cried it out and dropped it. Night 1 - 20 minutes, Night 2 - 10 minutes, Night 3 - 3 minutes. Pssht. Easy peasy.

Sawyer, well he's got a whoooole different attitude. Crying it out simply doesn't work. Or maybe I'm just not letting him go long enough. I've let him go up to 1:15 minutes before. Boy was that tough. And the end result was only me being up for that whole hour and fifteen minutes and listening to him wail...then tagging on another 30 minutes of no sleep to feed him. So lately, yes, I've gotten a bit softer. I let him go 30 minutes tops and I get in there and feed him, cause let's be honest. I. want. to. sleep. And once he's fed, he's happy and will go back to sleep til anywhere between 7 and 8:30.

But I'm tired. And I'm done. And I've tried it all. He's been topped off with formula. Been given rice cereal. We've played paci tag. None of it seems to work. He's quite stubborn.

Honestly I'm half tempted to just stop breastfeeding altogether to see if a few days of full on formula make his belly nice and full and make him happier and sleepier. (And i love breastfeeding...so this is saying a lot).

Now....I will say this - he goes to bed super early. I've tried keeping him up later to see if it makes a difference and it doesn't. So he has kept his 6:30/7:00 bedtime going down at the same time as his big brother. So this is nice. No complaints there since I get a few hours of quiet adult time each evening. But, depending on the night, he will be up screaming anytime from 3:30 to 5:30. There really is no consistency. And 5:30 I really don't mind. At all. But he seems to be rarely making it there these days. A little regression perhaps? He knows his mama is a little bit of a softy in her older age?

Any advice for a fellow mama here? I just want some sleep.

(oh and p.s. - as i'm typing this he also has totally boycotted naptime today. arghhhhhh!!!!)

Christmas is Almost Here!

2010-12-20T05:03:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know I've been a very very bad blogger of late. Getting started on my New Year's resolution a little bit early, and am planning on being more active around here. There is so much to catch you up on, Gall Bladder surgery, Sawyer's growing up, being re-hospitalized after surgery, etc., etc., - but I will save that for later. For now, Merry Christmas from my beautiful boys!

The Santa Pic. Yes I am that mom that tortures her 2 year old and puts him on Santa's lap then runs.

My beautiful baby boy with a smile that will melt your heart. Can't believe he's 5 months already!

My big boy in his "Shanta Kwaus" hat.

Christmas card shot #1. Please excuse the snot dripping from G's nose...colds season is here.

Christmas Card shot #2. I love my sweet boys!

Today I remember

2010-10-15T12:26:00.001-07:00

Oct 15 2006. Worst day of my life to date.
Due date of baby #1 - Loss date of baby #2.

Time heals, and so do my boys Grayson and Sawyer. But nothing will ever make me forget. And I can't imagine an Oct 15 rolling around without remembrance and tears.

Also, today another blogger I read lost a baby at 18 weeks - please give her some love over here: http://www.couponingtodisney.com/2010/10/15/i-lost-the-baby/

Travel Week Highs and Lows

2010-09-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

We spent a week on the road and in the air....traveling first by plane to Michigan for a cousin's wedding and then by car to Ocean City, MD. Sunday of Labor Day weekend was quite the day as we woke up in Detroit, flew to Virginia and drove to the beach - with an ER stop for Grayson - he had a bad cough that they diagnosed as pertussis. Which ended up being a misdiagnosis. On Wednesday we were back at the ER because he was getting worse and had a 103 fever. Chest xrays revealed a mild case of pneumonia. An antibiotic shot and prescription in hand, we were sent on our way. Thankfully he started to immediately improve and was even able to enjoy the sand at the beach on our last day.

Here are the highs...and lows of the trip....

doing his "funny face"

whatchyou lookin at mommy?

even the dog enjoyed sunbathing on the deck

the entire town was sold out of plastic or inflatable pools - so we improvised with an underbed storage container - and he didn't know the difference!

At the ER...passed out and sweetly pathetic

so sick he couldn't even bring himself to eat his donut

failed attempt at matching pj's pic....grayson wouldn't stay still

sawyer!

cutest lil footprints ever

playing in the sand

Chasing the birds

Jump!

Lining up his shot

He really didn't want to leave putt putt

enjoying the sunset on our last night

Goodbye ocean city! Hope to see you again soon!

I'm sure this will backfire on me, but....

2010-09-01T12:16:00.000-07:00

I know that me speaking of this will backfire on me, but I just have to say I'm so proud of my little fella. He slept 10 hours straight last night! 1-0. Wow! He went down at 7:30 and didn't wake up til 5:30. Momma went down at 9:30 and slept til 5:30 (8 hours of sleep? unheard of for me!). It was a dream.

When he went back down at 6 I was actually rested enough to stay up and get some stuff down around the house before Grayson woke up. Heavenly is the only word to describe it.

And now that I've spoken of it, I'm prepared for a night of every hour on the hour feedings tonight. ;-)

Post Pregnancy Weight Loss Tip

2010-08-30T07:54:00.001-07:00

Anyone out there looking for the secret to weight loss after baby? The answer is apparently gall stones. :-)

Over the past couple weeks between the stomach problems and the new diet I have to live by in order to stay pain free, the pounds are falling off. I've gotta say I can't complain. The pain I had was horrendous....but the vanity in me thinks it was almost (but not quite) worth it for what I'm seeing on the scale.

Pounds put on with pregnancy: 50. Pounds currently down: 35. Fifteen to go is still quite a bit....but I wasn't down this far after Grayson til he was almost a year old. It was a looooong journey of weight loss for me last time. So this is a nice change...albeit for a crappy (haha...no pun intended) reason.

I met with the surgeon on Friday and the gall bladder is definitely coming out. Probably around the 15th or so of the month (exact date tbd later this week). So for 2 1/2 more weeks I am living on the most boring, bland, lowfat diet ever. I really am starving and going crazy. But the results on the scale help keep me sane. And the great thing is, since I changed the way I eat last weekend I haven't had any pain. Phew. I don't think I could live with that another day even.

So for now, I'm cranky and hungry....but slightly smaller. Which is almost kinda sorta worth it.

Bros

2010-08-26T18:08:00.000-07:00

Can't Stop the Clock

2010-08-24T05:19:00.000-07:00

My time is up. Six weeks has flown by in the time it takes to snap your fingers. Today I go back to work. It's absolutely amazing to me how I have absolutely zilch desire to do so. You see I LOVE my job and LOVE where I work and LOVE who I work with. But having # 2 has totally changed me. I'm now content to gasp....stay at home. Even after Grayson I was ready to get back into a routine. But now, not so much.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for my job. And even more grateful for the child care situation there. (Both kids are down the hall being watched by a friend with other staff kiddos. I can visit whenever I want. I can breastfeed Sawyer at every feeding. I get to have lunch with each of them each day. Seriously....it's a dream). So I don't really want to complain. Just want to lament at how time flies and I'd love to stop it. Sawyer is already growing so much and changing before my eyes. Grayson gets to be more of a little person every day with new mannerisms and phrases and fun. Someone make it stop!

As I type this morning #1 is going well. Sawyer woke up to eat at about 6:45, then went back down and is still asleep. I then showered and ate breakfast...then G woke up. He's now finishing up his breakfast while watching Mouse and is dressed and ready to go. (I got my hair done while he's eating) I'm almost ready to go...just have to do the make up and clothes thing. Lunch was packed last night so all that is left is getting everything and everyone in the car and going.

Deep breath. I can do this.

The Post Partum From Hell

2010-08-23T06:04:00.000-07:00

I've gotta say. This time the post partum 6 weeks have been quite a doozie. Sawyer's delivery was a breeze and he's a pretty good baby. But he sure has put my poor body through the loop.

First came all the back problems. I was down and out for 1 week, and then spent 2 days a week in physical therapy for 4 weeks. Not fun. Although, I'm happy to report all is just perfect with my back now.

Next came my body not quite healing as it should from the delivery. I was back at the OB at week 3 and week 4 with healing issues. I eventually ended up on an antibiotic to combat an infection that was beginning. So issue number 2 solved.

And now...issue # 3. Which takes the cake so far. I've had crazy intestinal issues for a week. I've also had awful pain in my chest that feels like heartburn on crack every 2 to 3 days. I'm left crying and writhing in pain for about 15 minutes each time until it relieves itself with the most heinous burps I've ever heard. It seriously is just as bad as the mid stages of labor I've experienced prior to epidural.

So, yesterday morning was spent in the ER, getting tests and various bloodwork to figure out what the heck is up with me. An ultrasound revealed the culprit. Gall stones and sludge. I now am referred to a general surgeon to talk about having my gall bladder removed sometime soon. That appointment is on Friday.

Now from what I read and hear, this surgery is supposed to be a breeze. It's done laproscopically and I probably will even get to go home the same day. But still, it is surgery to have an organ removed. I've never had any surgeries other than the d&c's for 2 of my miscarriages. And I'm sure I won't be able to breastfeed for a bit due to the anesthetic in my system and such. So, this should be interesting...and not fun.

All Things Are Not Created Equal

2010-08-18T17:17:00.001-07:00

Um. I have a problem. Over the past 2 weeks it has been getting bigger....and smaller at the same time. You see I have an um...a lopsided situation.

Boobie A is a good deal bigger than boobie B. This means for some odd reason I'm producing differently on each side. I've tried doing some of the tricks I've read online....having S start each feeding on the smaller side to stimulate it more and I'm pumping on that side after most feedings (when I'm near my pump and not on the go). So far it doesn't seem to be helping. And I know most other people can't notice it but I feel like it's glaringly obvious. Which is embarassing.

I'm not sure what the culprit is for this. With G, everything remained nice and even. And S doesn't prefer one side to another. He spends the same amount of time on both for the most part. Although it is a vicious cycle. Now that side B is smaller, it creates less milk, therefore he spends less time on it. Not sure how to correct that at this point.

So ladies...any other advice out there for my girlies? I used fenugreek with G for just basic milk production, so I'm tempted to try that out again. But I remember smelling and sweating maple syrup when I was on that, which wasn't so pleasant.

Has anyone out there ever had to use an actual drug to stimulate things (like Ra.glan)? Or are those types of things only prescribed when production is an issue on both sides?

Help!

All About Sawyer

2010-08-11T17:04:00.001-07:00

Hard to believe my little dude is 1 month old. Let me tell you a little more about my mini man and what I know about him after a wonderful month.

He LOVES to eat and is a little chunkster. He is 1 month old and already growing out of 0-3 month clothes. He only stayed in newborn diapers for about 10 days then moved on to 1's. And I haven't bought a ton of those, because I think 2's are on the horizon in the next few weeks. At his 1 month appt he is in the 75th percentile for weight.

He's not a bad sleeper. We've settled into a routine of him going down somewhere between 7 and 8 p.m. for the night. He then wakes up normally around 1...then again around 4:30 or 5. The other night he went 8 hours though from 7:45 to 3:45. Which was awesome. It would be great if that repeated itself...but I'm not holding my breath.

He's a well behaved little man. His general demeanor is pleasant. He's pretty happy just relaxing in the bouncy seat. Unless that is he's having stomach issues/gas, in which case, he's not happy unless he's being held.

He goes back and forth between bottle and boob just fine. This makes for one happy mama. I've been able to go out on a few dates and have the sitter do his last bottle for the evening. He takes it like a champ, and comes right back to the boob for the next feeding without any problems. He's also had 2 nights with dad as mom has had some girl time with her sisters/mom and with the MIL.

He has a serious case of baby acne. I won't lie. It bothers me. I wish he had a nice smooth complexion...but I'll get over my vanity on this one.

He's quite the sucker. He likes his fists, my fingers and his pacifier. We've already graduated from the green ones they give at the hospital to the Nuk. Thankfully I saved a whole bunch from Grayson and didn't need to purchase any new ones.

He actually likes taking a bath. This one is funny to me because Grayson absolutely hated it and screamed through it each time. Sawyer loves it and gets all calm and quiet. It's kind of sweet.

Here are some shots from his 1 month photo shoot at Pic.ture People. Enjoy!

What Goes Up Must Come Down

2010-08-08T14:54:00.000-07:00

Boy do I have a little piggie on my hands in Sawyer. He eats. He eats a lot. One nice benefit of this, is that the pregnancy poundage seems to be shedding a little quicker this time.

With Grayson the weight loss was a slooooooooow road. I think for a combination of factors. 1 - He didn't eat as much...just was a smaller dude. 2 - I think milk supply never got off to a great start since I had to establish it with pumping while he was in the NICU. 3- It was hard to get into the eating right/working out and getting down to pre-pregnancy weight mind set when I knew I just wanted to be pregnant again, and soon. Why work so hard when the ultimate goal was to put it right back on?

So this time it's different. Different baby, different milk production, different mentality towards losing it. Sawyer is 4 weeks old tonight and I am down 27 of the 50 lbs I gained. Now, this is still a long long way from where I need to be. But when Grayson was 8 weeks old, I was only down 25 lbs of that same 50. So I consider this huge progress for me. Right now I'm still going down 2 lbs or more a week, and hope that sticks for a while. Plus, soon I'll get the all clear to work out again which will be nice.

And on the workout front, I've just registered myself for the Disney World half marathon in January. I'm going to be running it with my college roommate while will be great. Now, I'm not really a natural runner. I ran all through high school and college, but never enjoyed doing it, just enjoyed the end results. And I've never done a race that long. And I am crazy out of shape. But, I think this will be a great way for me to lose the rest of the pounds and I love having a goal in mind. I'll start training in September. Should be fun and awful all at the same time.

But for now...I'm grateful for my 27 and look forward to getting the rest of this off and being in my clothes again.

So what do you think? Do they look alike?

2010-08-04T12:35:00.000-07:00

Sawyer.....3 weeks old. Hanging at the pool

Grayson.....3 weeks old...hanging at the pool.

Same outfit....different poses.
So.....do they look alike?

Baby Dedication

2010-08-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday we dedicated Sawyer at our church. Our church background doesn't do christenings. We do baptisms at an older age after a person comes into a personal relationship with Christ. What we do is have a dedication time, that is really more about the parents than the baby. I guess it's more of "Parent" Dedication then a "Baby" dedication. It's a time for us to stand before the church and God and commit to raise up our baby boy to our best and in keeping with our faith. It's a really sweet time and I of course cried. After the service, we hung with the in-laws and we were able to get some good pics. Hard to believe my little guy is over 3 weeks old already. Where does the time go?

Sawyer's Birth Story

2010-08-03T06:37:00.000-07:00

The weekend of Sawyer's arrival, my BFF came into town for a quick visit. She was 26 weeks pregnant and we really wanted to see each other before Sawyer came so that we could get a belly pic together. She came into town Saturday and left Sunday evening. Meanwhile on Sunday morning I passed my plug and had a little bit of blood as well as contractions. I knew Sawyer was close...just didn't know how close. To the left is my last belly pic, taken 1 day before I went into labor.

We dropped my friend off at the train station at 7:30 p.m. and headed home. I sang to Grayson and tucked him in, cherishing what I figured was either the last night, or close to the last night, that it would be just us.

At 9, we headed to bed to watch True Blood before we went to sleep (we are early retirers at night, don't judge). As i headed up the stairs I felt some leakage. It wasn't much, but enough to change my underwear. As I climbed in bed I told David not to get too comfortable, that time would tell if it was my water starting to leak or not. It happened 2 more times in the next half hour and some mild contractions began. So, I texted the sitter arranged for Grayson and called the doc. She said to come on in to the hospital, so I got out of bed, tried to do something with my hair and makeup and made sure everything was in the hospital bag. Before we left we both went in to peek in at G sleeping and appreciate that last moment of just us 3. Amazingly enough I didn't cry...I was more excited than sad at that point.

By 10:15 sitter had arrived and we headed to the hospital. Unfortunately we hit a good bit of traffic on the way. (Brake lights pictured on right....not a sight a contracting girl wants to see) So it took us about 15 extra minutes to get there - and my contractions were starting to hurt by that point. So that was really annoying.

We were at the hospital before 10:45 - I got all checked in, and went to triage for them to check my water bag. I was 5cm when we got to triage and my water still hadn't ruptured, was just leaking. I encouraged them to hurry up and start my IV so I could get my epidural sooner rather than later. Contractions were coming close and were really hurting. They started my IV and sent me to my Labor and Delivery room. On the way, we saw my family in the hall (my younger sister, Mom, Grandma and Dad).

The next hour or so I just spent making it through each contraction as they got worse and worse waiting for the epidural. The anesthesiologist was in an emergency c-section so I had to wait. Finally he came in, and I breathed a sigh of relief that the pain was about to be over. I'd gone way past the pain level I was at with G's labor before getting the epidural and was ready to be done. Unfortunately he had a booger of a time finding the right spot to put it in. He dug around my spine through 2 contractions before saying he'd have to switch to another vertebrae because the space was too tight. It. Was. Awful. Numbed or not....someone digging around your spine is painful. Finally he got it in and relief came.

At that point they checked me and I was at 7cm. They broke my water the rest of the way and guesstimated that I'd be ready to go in about an hour. At this point the family came back in and we had a fun little party for a bit while we waited. My in-law's arrived by this point too.

Sure enough, an hour later my cervix was gone and I was ready to push. Everyone left the room at this point except David, my mom, my grandma and my sister.

I only had to push through 5 or 6 contractions over 20 minutes. This is a HUGE improvement over last time. Towards the end, Sawyer's heart rate was dropping just a bit (to about 96), so they wanted to get him out. The doc used the vacuum for 2 pushes at the end to help out a little.

At 2:56 we finally met Sawyer. My first thought was that he looked just like Grayson, minus the forceps horns. They let me hold him right away which was amazing. Somehow I didn't cry - I just smiled and laughed and was so happy to meet him. They took him away to clean him up and do his weight (8lbs 13 oz - a whole lb bigger than G) and 20.5 inches long (a half inch bigger than G). Once all the formalities were done, he came back to my arms all wrapped up in his cute little hate and blanket. We cuddled a bit, then passed him around to Daddy and the other visitors. It was so nice to have that experience. I have all the happy pics of this moment that I didn't get to have last time.

After the family had all met Sawyer and gotten their photo op, they all said their goodbyes and left us alone. I put Sawyer to my boob to see what would happen and he began eating like a champ. No latch issues or anything. The boy was a natural eater! (Not surprising since I am too!).

At 5:30 a.m. we were finally in the post-partum room and it was time for some rest. I was soooo exhausted. David went home to relieve the sitter, and was coming back with G when visiting hours began around lunchtime.

So from start to finish the whole labor only lasted less than 6 hours from the uncertain start to the finish. Not bad.

And we have a beautiful healthy baby boy. I am one extremely thankful mama for an experience with Sawyer that was smooth and exactly as it should be - from 2 pink lines to "it's a boy!".

Alive & Well

2010-08-03T05:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry for my silence. Things have been busy....but good. Quick updates for now, more to come later...

Finally posted the Birth Story, so check that out

My back is doing MUCH better. That unfortunately sucked a week away of my life where I had to have constant help to take care of my boys. But thanks to physical therapy I'm doing way better. Still hitting PT 2 times a week to keep things stable, but I am pain free. I just get a little tight now and then, which I can deal with.

Sawyer is a little piggy! At his 2 week appt. he weighed in at just shy of 10 lbs putting him in the 99th percentile for weight. Quite the change from Grayson - who normally was in the 3rd percentile (as in 3%).

Weight Update - I'm 24 lbs down - pretty much halfway there as I gained 50 lbs yet again. It does seem to be coming off a bit faster this time. I attribute that to Sawyer and the amount he eats - which is quite a bit! Still have a looooooong way to go though to be back in any of my clothes.

Adjusting to Two. I think I've settled into life with my 2 boys quite well. For the most part it doesn't overwhelm me and I'm able to do all that I need to on my own. We've ventured out without trouble and had lovely days at home. It definitely has it's challenging moments but it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

Date Night - Yes! They are back. Last friday we left both boys with a sitter so that we could go out and celebrate my husband's bday. Sawyer did great, eating a bottle and going to bed as he should. The night was a success so we are doing it again this Friday! I LOVE my regular sitter, and HATE that I'm losing her to college again in a few weeks. So...we are taking advantage of having a trusted person watching S while we can.

Back Update

2010-07-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

So the sports medicine doc didn't think it was joints...he thinks it's a muscle issue. Which honestly I way prefer. The joint thing seemed kind of unfixable. Muscle issues just need a little time and tlc to work out. So I am now on muscle relaxers round the clock (totally safe while breastfeeding) and I start some physical therapy this afternoon. The muscle relaxers don't seem to be doing much but making me really sleepy. Really hoping the physical therapy helps and they are able to show me some stretches and stuff that will help work this out.

Keep me in your prayers peeps. This is getting really old and my post partum emotions can't take this much longer.

Breastfeeding Must Have #4

2010-07-23T07:48:00.000-07:00

This is something I wish I had known about when I was breastfeeding Grayson. It collects the milk you leak from the boob that isn't feeding the baby. This is especially handy for that first feeding of the day when leakage tends to be most.

I don't know about you, but I work HARD to store up a supply of breastmilk in the freezer for the times I can't be with my baby. So this little invention is great because you don't have to waste a single, precious drop. I've been using it for the first morning feeding when I'm particularly engorged. Right now I'm collecting about a 1/2 ounce per use. And I imagine this will only keep going up and envision that as S gets older and eats more, I'll be collecting a couple of ounces each time I use it. This is my new fav by far.

It's called the Milk Saver by Milkies. You can read more about it here and can buy it here or here.

Deal Alert on Hooter Hiders!

2010-07-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

In a previous post I raved about Hooter Hiders. Here's a great deal on one! Udder Covers has their 6 nursing covers on sale for $9.95 shipped! Just use the code cute at checkout and all you pay is shipping!

I personally like this one best....cause I think the dark is more discreet. I already own this one and am gonna pick up an extra one at this price for a preggo friend.

The Good & The Bad

2010-07-22T05:34:00.000-07:00

Very soon I will finish my post with my birth story - which was GREAT by the way and a huge improvement on my last experience. And I will update you on my wonderful baby boy is is soooo GOOD in every way - eating, sleeping, being content. Seriously he is a dream. (This is again nice change of pace from Grayson - who had NICU time, reflux and crazy fussiness round the clock)

So...here's the bad. Since Tuesday, I have been in crazy pain in my lower back. It came on all of the sudden and has pretty much kept me fairly immobile. Something I don't really have the luxury to be with a newborn and a 2 year old. When it first came on I literally couldn't move and had to tell Grayson to "go get mommy's phone, it's by her bed". Thankfully he understood and did and my mom was over within minutes. I went to the doctor on Tuesday, thinking maybe it was a kidney infection. Something not uncommon after having a catheter in...which i did have as part of labor with an epidural.

They did a urinalysis which came up negative. The doc said it was joint pain. The joint that connects the back and the hip does all kinds of funky things in pregnancy in order to loosen up the pelvic area for birth. It's called the sacroiliac joint - and mine is inflamed. Oh joy joy. I'm supposed to take Advil and just wait it out til it goes away. Unfortunately it isn't. So I have a follow up appt. today with the sports medicine/physical therapy people to see about some further treatment.

From what I read, treatment is either physical therapy or shots (cortisone I believe). From what I read you can have cortisone shots while breastfeeding, but I'm not totally sure. So if not, I'm gonna have to choose between crazy pain, and breastfeeding my baby. I can always pump and dump for a while and then hope he comes back to my boob, but my supply doesn't keep up well solely on the pump. So that would be quite frustrating. But, if shots are the answer, I will have to do it. Because right now I can't take care of my kids on my own. My wonderfully awesome mother has been with me all days since this happened, and my husband in the evenings. Without them I would be unable to do things for my kiddos. This is oh so frustrating and has brought me to tears many times over past few days. So i need a solution. Hoping to find one this afternoon.

Anyone ever hear of this? Any ideas?

Introducing Sawyer!

2010-07-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

Sawyer is Here

2010-07-12T15:04:00.000-07:00

We welcomed an 8lb 13 oz 20.5 inches beautiful baby boy early this morning at 2:56 a.m. Birth went smoothly and we are both doing well. Pics to come when we get home and have a computer.

Breastfeeding Must Have # 3

2010-07-11T05:43:00.000-07:00

The Hooter Hider!

I must admit, I do get annoyed at the people who get totally grossed out by breastfeeding and think that it should never ever be done in public. There are those who say if we want to feed our babies we should do it in the bathroom in private. Um, I'm sorry, do you want to eat your food in the bathroom?! I think not. I also though, don't think we need to subject everyone to flashes of our boobies. The hooter hider is a great solution to this very problem. It covers everything without smothering your baby. And the wiring on the top offers mommy a view of baby, without us showing the goods to everyone else.

There are some really fun patterns out there as well for these, but my suggestion would be to go with a solid color that is nice and discreet. I have a solid black one and I can't tell you how many times I was at a restaurant or somewhere else feeding G and people didn't even realized what I was doing under there. So, if you want to stay stealth, go dark and solid.

You can find a bunch of options using the link above, or there are a bunch on Etsy as well. I have gifted these numerous times as well to expectant moms. They make a great gift.

Breastfeeding Must Haves # 1 & 2

2010-07-09T05:33:00.000-07:00

Any new mommies out there who need some help in the area of breastfeeding? I'm a huge advocate for it. Yes, it can be very tough and challenging in the beginning as you deal with latch issues, crazy sore nipples and worries about if your baby is eating enough. But, if you can push through the first weeks - it gets super easy! I promise. I'm starting a new series of posts of some of my "must haves" for navigating breastfeeding.

The first two, are extremely helpful during the first days and weeks as your nipples are getting "broken in" so to speak.

The first is Lan.sinoh Ultra Soft Nursing Pa ds. Now....any nursing pads will do once your healed and not hurting any more. But, these ones are great for the beginning because they don't chafe and are super soft. Buy a box or 2 prior to going into the hospital so you're prepared when it is time.

The second must have for the beginning is Lans.inoh Topical Breast Cream. This is great for soothing the soreness. Apply it liberally and often...and don't worry, it's safe for baby too. You don't have to wipe off before feeding. Keep it in your hospital or diaper bag so that you're ready to go when you need it.

I have more must haves to come over the coming days...stay tuned!

Pregnancy Must Haves - #5 & 6 - for all your smart phone gals

2010-07-08T05:24:00.000-07:00

In prep for my impending (hopefully) labor, I downloaded a FREE i.phone app to track contractions. Kind of makes the pain a little more fun. :-)

There are a ton of other really cool apps out there for pregnancy and labor, but I was cheap and went for free. You can find out more about this app here.

Another app that is fun for pregnancy in general is the What to Expect app...it even has a place to take a weekly photo of your belly. Something I of course always forgot to do. But if you are just starting out in pregnancy and have a smart phone, it is a great app for info and tracking.

Any more great pregnancy apps out there that are worth sharing? Leave a comment!

Birth Story

2010-07-06T20:05:00.000-07:00

So...I never really realized I never posted my Grayson birth story. I started this post on 7/5/08 - 2 years and 1 day ago. For some reason, I never finished it. Thanks to Katie for pointing that out...so here it is, and I've wrapped it up for you guys too. I promise it won't take as long to post about Sawyer's arrival when he comes.

On Saturday, May 31st we decided to go to a movie as we do most Saturdays. We saw "The Strangers" - a great scary movie with Liv Tyler and that guy who played Ben on "Felicity". About 1/2 way through - at 2 p.m. - I had to pee super bad, so I left. Unfortunately there was a line in the bathroom. So while I waited in line squirming because my bladder was too full, I felt some definite leakage. Hmmmm. Was this me peeing my pants a bit cause Grayson kicked me down there? Or was my water breaking? I've talked to people who had the slow trickle, not the big gush when it came to water breaking, so I was suspicious. I finally got into a stall and did my business and my underwear were pretty darn wet. I sniffed them (I know...gross) to see if it smelled like pee or not...and it definitely did not. So I preceded out to call my sister to ask her how I would know difference between peeing and leaking water. She told me to call doctor. So I did... There's an answering service I leave a message with, then I sit and wait in the hall for the doc to call back. Some significant time has passed at this point so the husband comes out to see what I could possibly be doing. I catch him up on situation, and while being excited about what could be going on, he really wants to finish the movie which was just starting to get all scary and good. Unfortunately, the doc calls back and tells us it's probably best to come in so he can check and see if my water broke or not.

So...we leave for the hospital. As we are walking out through the food court, I start leaking some more. I am now pretty sure it's the real thing. As we drive to hospital I get my first crampings. I was not prepared to head to hospital from the friggin mall, so I had to call my mom and have her pick up my hospital bag from my house. Luckily I was prepared and all she had to do was pick up the bag and find the last minute items I had on a list in the bag.

Husband dropped me off at the door while he went to park and I checked in at the registration desk. Let me just tell you, for having already been preregistered, it sure took a long time to fill out more forms and get checked in. Luckily my crampings were still manageable at this point. I feel bad for those who are in all-out labor and have to wait through that.

We then went up to Labor and Delivery where we sat and wait about 15 minutes longer before there is a curtained area for us to go to. As I sat there, I leaked more and more on that poor chair and my contractions started to take my breath away. When they finally led me back to a cot to change into a gown, it fluid was running down my legs. It was such a crazy gross feeling. As more contractions came as I laid on the cot while they started my IV and such I started gushing. So so gross. It was obvious I was in labor so they admitted me and sent me on to a labor and delivery room.

I must say, I was a wus. Very shortly after I was in the L&D room I got my epidural. The contractions hurt like the dickens....I could only imagine how much worse they would've gotten. The anesthesiolgist was so my best friend when he came in. I didn't look at the needle on purpose...didn't want to see it. It was certainly uncomfortable getting it put in, but the relief was almost immediately thankfully. After that, the party started. I was at 6 cm at this point and didn't have too awful far to go.

Present for the party were my husband (duh), mom, dad, 2 sisters,brother and sis in law and niece and nephew. What a parade! (Don't worry...they weren't all in there for the main event...just for the previews). The next couple hours were quite fun as I had no pain and just kind of hung out enjoying my last moments with him in my belly. At one point I kicked everyone out of the room so husband and I could have a few last moments together before our lives changed forever. (Something I highly suggest for all you expectant ladies - in the rush of things it could be easy to miss).

By 9 p.m. I was fully dilated and it was time to push. Unfortunately, this pushing went nowhere. In the frustrating 2 hours that followed I pushed and pushed and he didn't budge. At one point his heart level dropped crazy low and they quickly rolled me onto my side and gave me oxygen to help him along. Thankfully that fixed things fairly quickly. Throughout the pushing his heartrate continued to dip low, then get too high. Not dangerously so, but enough to make me a nervous wreck. And then I spiked a fever of almost 102. Now, I don't get fevers. My temp is normally so low that a temp of 99 is high for me. So that was kind of freaky too. I could feel the fever too. I was so hot and I had that headache you get with fevers. Plus I was exhausted from pushing. They gave me tylenol for the fever, and antibiotics in my IV as a precautionary measure in case I picked up an infection of some kind. Thankfully the fever came down fairly quickly, and we still don't quite know what that was all about.

In the room at this point were my mom, my 2 sisters and my husband. Let me just say the my husband was amazing. Holding my hand, The doc came in and saw my progress had not changed in the last couple hours.

Note: This is where my 2008 draft ends, and I pick up in 2010. :-)

So...doc comes in, I'm full dilated, been pushing for over 2 hours with L&D nurse, had a fever, had oxygen issues with G. He knows that I would prefer not to have a c-section from my birth plan, and asks if I'd like some assistance. I asked what that would mean, and he said forceps. At this point, I was so ready to meet our little guy, that I would've said yes to anything. So I said "yes".

Things happened very quickly then as everyone moved into place. They also gave me a little extra in my epidural, because I sure didn't want to feel the forceps. If you've never seen them, think salad tongs, only GINORMOUS. Seriously...they are huge. Up until this point the epidural had been working nicely. I could tell when I was contracting, and it was uncomfortable, but not painful. But, as soon as he put those forceps in me, all that changed. I felt excruciating pain. I thought he was ripping me in two. I screamed and screamed and cried, he attempted to get G out and he still wouldn't quite budge. This went on for what seemed like eternity but probably was only 90 seconds to 2 minutes. Finally the doc gave me some more assistance with an episiotomy. At that point I felt instant relief and could breathe again and out came Grayson.

Now, due to the forceps he had quite the "horns" on his head. And my first thought was he looked like the aliens in Indiana Jones Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. But I didn't care, he was out, he looked healthy, he was crying, he was beautiful.

They whisked him away to clean him up, and I could breathe again. My doc told me my episiotomy was quite intense....a level 4 is I believe what they call it. Yep...that means I was snipped hole to hole. Not something that was fun to recover from. While I was getting stitched up things started to get dramatic on the other side of the room. All the sudden there was a bunch of action on the other side of the room where Grayson was and they whisked the curtain closed and called David over there. He said he was as blue as a smurf when he got to the other side. He was having problems breathing and the nurses worked to get him going again. He started breathing again, and they were going to be taking him to the NICU. I'm of course crying by now because I don't really know what's going on and I really just want to hold my baby. They consent to letting me hold him for just a few moments before they steal him away. Words cannot explain what I felt in that moment. Such love for this little dude I'd just met, such fear that he was not going to be ok, and such sadness that things were not going at all how I'd imagined.

This is the one photo I got to take with him before he went to the NICU. I hate that I don't have any of those smiling delivery room pictures with him and me and David and my family.

David got to go down with him to the NICU and was able to take a few more photos of him to bring to me to see. When he got back, I again kicked everyone out of the room and I just cried and cried with him wondering why nothing can ever go smoothly for us. It was a rough night.

As we all know now, Grayson is fine. He ended up in the NICU for 9 nights. Which was 9 nights of hell. I kept a crazy schedule of visiting him all day, then waking up in the night to pump so he'd have breastmilk. It was exhausting and we were so relieved when he finally was able to come home. You can read a few more details on all that over here....although I was quite the bad blogger when he was an infant, because I was so overwhelmed by everything. Add to that the recovery from my delivery which was just awful. In hindsight, I wish I had a c-section instead. I couldn't sit or walk or sneeze or breathe without pain for weeks and weeks. Plus I couldn't properly rest with all that back and forth to the NICU the first 9 days.

At my 6 week check up I was still in pain. Really, it was awful. Just say no to forceps is my advice.

That about wraps it up. I'm sure I'm forgetting some details as it was over 2 years ago now, but that's the basics. Sorry for the long post, but it's a long story to tell.

I really am believing that Sawyer's arrival is going to be totally totally different. It's going to be easy and smooth, he's gonna just pop right out as he's supposed to, I'm going to not tare at all (or barely) and he's going to be able to stay with me for happy pics post-delivery.

And hopefully, all of this will be happening very very soon.

Pregnancy Must Have #4

2010-07-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

Well it's been quite some time since I posted one of these, so it's time for another Pregnancy Must Have.

Ok ladies....you're in your 3rd trimester and starting to freak out about your water breaking. What do you keep on hand for a time such as that? My suggestion, Underpads. What are underpads you may ask?

Well....something like this. A large absorbent pad typically used in bed for an elderly person with incontinence. But in the case of water breakage, it can come in quite handy for the trip to the hospital.

When I was pregnant with Grayson, for some reason I thought my water was going to break while sleeping. So, I had my bed lined with them under my sheet for the last couple of weeks. Unfortunately, my water broke while I was out at a movie. And did I have my trusty underpads with me? Of course not. So this time, that mistake will not be made again. My car has a stash in the back...just in case. My bed on the other hand, is not prepared. Murphy's law tells me this time my water will break while sleeping.

You can find a package of these in the same aisle as Depend's and adult diapers. :) You will probably have to buy a multi-pack, but I've now been able to have them on hand for 2 pregnancies...and I've given some away to pregnant friends as well (who have used them and appreciated them at the opportune moment). So buy some and pass them around. Your car....and your friends....will thank you.

All Quiet on the Uterine Front

2010-07-05T18:49:00.000-07:00

Well, since my big "4" news on Friday, all has been pretty quiet. I must admit, I'm kind of glad I made it through the weekend without having this baby. I am off of work all this week, and was kind of looking forward to one last week of just me and G. Movies, shopping, lunches, pool, playing - all the good stuff we never get to do cause I'm at work. My ideal time to have this baby is this upcoming weekend. We'll see...

I did have some decent contractions on Sunday. They were fairly intense for about an hour - every 10 minutes. I was so sure that "this was it" that I even put my hospital bag in the car before heading to my parent's house for a BBQ. But as suddenly as they came on, they just stopped.

Oh.... and I'm crazy nesting and cleaning. Over past couple of days I've cleaned all my carpets on my bottom 2 floors with my new biss.ell steam cleaner too. No easy task for someone almost 50 lbs overweight with swollen feet. So, I'm doing anything but taking it easy. Amazing how I can be 4cm dilated and working this hard and still nada. But, I am appreciating the time I have. Every night as I put G to bed I think it could be the last of just me and him and I spend just a little more time cuddling.

I'll be sure to keep you all posted, but for now, all quiet on the uterine front!

Making Progress

2010-07-02T10:16:00.000-07:00

Today I am 37 weeks, 2 days and I had my weekly check up. My OB doesn't normally start checking until 38 weeks, but I asked, so he obliged. I'm just too curious for my own good.

And....I have progress to report! My doc said "Whoa. Glad we checked, you're almost 4 centimeters."

Ahhhhh!!!

Crazy right?

To compare with Grayson - I was 3 cm dilated 72 hours prior to going into labor. If that proves true this time, it looks as though I may be having a baby this weekend! OR....I could walk around like this for 2 1/2 more weeks. The annoying thing is there is no way to tell.

I'm not necessarily having contractions, but there is alot of slight twinging and cramping going on. So we shall see. Who knows, maybe my next post will be "I'm going into labor!".

Really can't believe this is here already. For now, it's back to work. Much to do in the next 2.5 hours as I wrap up what may be my last day in office for some time.

Father's Day 2010

2010-06-22T16:02:00.001-07:00

Handsome Boy

Me and my 2 boys....and my double chin

Daddy & Grayson on the course

Strike a pose!

Things I'm Appreciating These Days

2010-06-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

I'm a lists kind of girl. I love making them, and then checking things off of them. This list is a sad one though. It's the list of the things I'm trying to appreciate now, because soon they will slip through my fingers as S arrives. Not that I'm sad about our new addition, I'm so excited. But I do feel a sense of loss for the alone time that me and G have. And I realize many of these things I can still do....they will just be different, because it won't just be me and him. I guess I'm getting a bit emotional here towards the end of this pregnancy.

So here's the list of things I'm appreciating these days. Things that will soon be crossed off, in a bittersweet way.

Morning bonding with G over breakfast - our special time each day just the two of us
Playing with G in the pool on our deck and dedicating my sole attention to him
Me and G popping in and out of Starbucks with ease - how will i hold G's hand, carry a baby carrier and my drink order back to the car? hmmmmmm
Putting G to bed and spending unlimited time rocking him and whispering to each other before "night night"

There are a billion other moments throughout the day I feel myself trying to capture and remember, but I won't bore you with the whole list.

All I know is all the people I talk to with multiple kids, tell me they don't even remember what it was like to just have 1. I don't want that to be me. I want to have sweet memories of my time with just G and never forget how special it was.

Sawyer's Nursery Tour

2010-06-17T04:10:00.000-07:00

Photos Galore

2010-06-14T11:54:00.001-07:00

I hate to admit I've been pretty bad at printing photos of Grayson and getting them in albums. I did really well up to about a year. The first year of his life is nice and organized in a series of 4 matching photo albums.

Now, the 2nd year, is a different story. We have them all in the computer, but have been slacking in the area of ordering prints and putting them in albums. In an effort to have everything totally up to date by the time Sawyer arrives, I've just placed in order with apple for over 700 photos.

Oy vey!

They will arrive in the next week and my goal is to have them all organized and albumed up (is that a word? albumed?), before S gets here. I need a fresh start and don't want to be behind when #2 arrives.

Plus, this weekend we bit the bullet and joined the digital slr club. Our camera was seriously lacking and old and took pretty crappy pics. It was time. New camera = desire to take lots of new pics = must get caught up now with the backlog so that I can stay current with new photos.

I have a few other projects to finish up before we meet Sawyer, but I'd say this is the biggest one to date. I'm tired just thinking about it!

It Will Be Nice....

2010-06-12T05:33:00.000-07:00

....when I can sneeze again withOUT wetting my pants.

Pregnancy is so attractive.

Sleeeeep Update

2010-06-11T01:02:00.000-07:00

So I'm writing this post at 4 a.m....and I've been up since about 2. So all is not well on the sleep front. But, there is 1 shining light of hope for me still. It is called am.bien. At my check up last week I was telling my OB of my sleep woes. She told me am.bien is safe for pregnancy and she wants me to be sleeping. She suggested taking 5mg at first, then upping to 10 if that doesn't work. She also said to not take it every night if I can help it.

So in the last week, I've done an every 3rd night rotation. Every 3rd night I pop a pill and have glorious sleep. The other 2 nights....well, they are hit or miss. Some are ok, with at least enough sleep to stay sane. Others are like tonight. Here's what it looks like thus far.

9 p.m. - Head upstairs to start process of getting in bed/going to sleep
9:30 - husband falls asleep, so I turn off the tv (he gets up at 4:30 so he's often first to pass out - and he requires tv to sleep to....so I'm nice and oblige)
10:00 - I doze off for first time
12 a.m. - up for first pee
12:30 - wake up again, try to get comfortable, go back to sleep
1 a.m. - up for 2nd pee
1:30 - wake up again - try to get comfortable, go back to sleep

2 a.m. - up for 3rd pee - so annoying!
2:45 a.m. - been wide awake since 2, so get out of bed, head downstairs. I make hubs coffee for a.m. and pack his lunch (since i forgot last night), snack on a pop tart and a small glass of milk. Facebook chat with my sister who happens to be up with her son. Read some emails and blogs, watch Enews.
4 a.m. - Write a blog post about my sleep woes

4:30 a.m. - My plan is to head back up to bed once David's alarm goes off. Once he's out of bed I can toss and turn and sprawl and hopefully get comfortable enough to get a couple more hours in before G wakes up.

Phew! This kinda helped. Just writing all that drama out is making me sleepy!

I seriously am excited about a newborn and the middle of the night feedings. Cause if I'm going to be up anyway, I just assume have something to do!

Question though, if you were me would you take the am.bien every other day? instead of every 3rd? Or tough it out? I just don't know what to do! I know the doc said it's safe, I just really, really hate to take something if I don't need to.

Grayson's 2nd Birthday!

2010-06-08T06:57:00.000-07:00

Getting Real

2010-06-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

It's all getting very real. My widget tells me there are only 44 days to go. My braxton hicks tell me my body is getting ready. My huge rear end tells me my clothes aren't fitting anymore. :-) My husband tells me I complain too much.

And I just registered for the hospital stay.

It's getting all too real.

But I am ready.

Too Close For Comfort

2010-05-28T05:15:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, Grayson decided to take a tumble from his changing table. He went from a standing position, to tumbling downwards in a millisecond. I turned around just in time to see him sailing downward at a completely upside down vertical angle, landing on his head and neck. Time froze in that moment as I had visions of him breaking his neck. The landing was just awful....words can't describe what I saw in that moment. He thankfully began screaming immediately so I knew he was at least somewhat ok. I got to him just a second after he landed holding him close as he cried. Then that's when I started crying. No not crying, bawling. I just kept thinking about "what if" he would've landed just slightly different putting the weight on his neck wrong. I couldn't gain composure, so we loaded up in the car and headed to my mom's house (which was our destination for the morning anyway). He had stopped crying by this point and was totally fine. Mommy, however was not.

I walked into my parents house crying, unable to speak. Which freaked them out to say the least. I finally was able to tell them what happened, and they assured me he was fine...no need to worry. I cried pretty much for the next hour. Then for the next 3, tears kept popping into my eyes throughout the morning at work. Phew. A pregnant mommy cannot take all this emotion.

All I know is I don't ever want to feel that close to something horrible happening again. It was just awful. And, I must say, I do believe in angels helping out my little fella and keeping him from bigger harm.

Oh...best part is, on my way home with him that afternoon, we were stopped at a light. I turned around, and grabbed his foot, playing with him and smiling and telling him how much I love him and how glad I am he's ok. Um..but I didn't realize I was still rolling a little bit....brake not totally on. So, yep... I totally rear ended the car in front of me. Luckily it was just barely a tap and both cars were fine. Didn't even exchange insurance info. But still....like I really needed that on the same day?! So my luck.

I'm happy to report G-man is totally fine and fun and rotten as ever. We are busy planning and getting ready for the big "2" birthday party on Monday. More on that to come!

And That's a Wrap

2010-05-24T05:29:00.000-07:00

Stealing this from my good friend Tracey...great idea to wrap up the week/weekend.

This weekend I: Threw a lost finale costume party! We had fun themed food like "Locke's Wild Boar BBQ Sliders" and "Mr. Clucks Chicken Strips" and "Kate & Sawyer have Sex on the Beach Punch". I was Hurley. Cause...how many options are there for a really large third trimester preggo?

Right now I'm: Enjoying a lazy morning with no agenda. Haven't had one of these in a while. Enjoying hanging out with my little man in our pj's. There won't be many of these left with just the 2 of us. I am cherishing the time we have.

This week I will: Finish putting away all of Sawyer's clothes in his room and order the final pic for his wall. After that his nursery is complete! Video tour to come when all is final and done. I will also finish packing my hospital bag (about 50% done at moment), and work on my hand off list for at work. I hate to leave these things to the last minute, cause you never know. And I of course will be going to see Sex and the City 2...which opens Thursday.

I'm Reading: I'm re-reading Apparent Danger by David Stokes - who happens to be my dad. If you haven't read it...pick up a copy. It hits bookstores in next few weeks and is available now on amazon and apparentdanger.com. Awesome true crime story from the 1920's.

Favorite Tweet from Last Week: From Conan O'Brien: I've decided to start tweeting about major world events, so I just read four newspapers. Man, is it me or can Garfield be a real dick?

Favorite TV/MOVIE/Music Moment of the week: Matt Damon on the 30Rock Season Finale as a pilot, talking about Sully (the pilot who water landed the plane in the Hudson). "You know what a great pilot would have done? Not hit the birds. That's what I do every day, not hit birds. Where's my ticket to the Grammys?"

Almost 2

2010-05-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

Today was the day to get Grayson's 2 year photos done. I normally don't like to do these things til closer to the actual birthdate, but I really wanted to take advantage of this good deal for ordering some bday thank yous/announcements that I'd like to arrive before the big day. (The big day is on the 31st).

It is really, really hard to believe my little booger is almost 2. Well, that is, until he throws a tremendous fit and reminds me that he is right in the midst of the dreaded terribles. But, time really does fly and I'm trying to enjoy and cherish every moment with this handsome fella now...because pretty soon the poor little dude is gonna have to share me.

Sleeeeeeep

2010-05-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

Let's just say sleep hasn't been the greatest lately. There are a couple of hurdles in my way.

1 - My ever expanding belly. Duh. This is my greatest obstacle. Sleeping on my stomach isn't an option, cause it's just not possible. Sleeping on my back isn't an option because the docs say not to. Sleeping on my side is what remains, and I've never been a side sleeper. I have a pregnancy boppy pillow to cuddle with, and some nights that helps, some nights it doesn't.

2 - Anxiety. It's funny cause most of the time I don't feel like I'm nervous or anxious about adding number 2. That is until it's time to sleep. There are some nights where I just can't quite get all the way to sleep. I am almost drifted off, then I wake myself up with a moment of panic where I have to catch my breath. It's really hard to explain. And it's not nearly as dramatic as it sounds. Some nights I just can't shut the brain down.

3 - Restless Leg Syndrome? I read somewhere that 25% of preggos develop RLS during pregnancy. I have a general antsyness at sleepytime right now. I fidget and move and move some more and can't settle enough to sleep. Could it be RLS? And if it is, it's not like I can take anything while pregnant. So what can I do about it?

Needless to say I'm tired. Tired of waking up at 3:45 or 4:30 a.m. for the day because let's face it, no more sleep is happening for me. Tired of not being able to fall asleep at night because I'm having mild freak outs. There is only so much early morning tivo watching and computer surfing I can take.

Any suggestions out there? Sleep remedies? Calming techniques? Help an exhausted sister out.

Wondering What My Balance Is

2010-05-13T03:19:00.000-07:00

I work full time. Most of the time I love it, other times I dream of being a stay at home mom. Then there are times like last week when I was stuck in the house for a week with the G-man because he picked up hand/foot/mouth disease. And I realize, I may not quite be wired for the full time staying home thing. I have never been so excited to go back to work as I was this past Tuesday when we were past the contagious phase. But then by Wednesday afternoon when Grayson learned to climb out of his pack n play at my mom's house (she watches him 1 day a week) and wouldn't nap, I just wanted to not have to worry about work and put G and his needs first. I wonder if there is any way to feel like I'm doing the 100% total right thing for me and our growing family.

I do have a dream situation with my job. I have full time child care on site...with people I trust. I can go visit him whenever I want. I get to eat lunch with him every day. And, the price point is way affordable compared to full-time child care centers. When Sawyer arrives, he will be in this child care as well. I guess you could say it's really the best of both worlds. But there are still days where I feel like I only get 30 minutes of quality time with G. We get up, and bond a little in the morning before things get busy and we have to get out the door. I drop him off for the morning, pick him up at noon and have lunch with him, drop him back off for the afternoon, then pick him up when work is over. Once we get home, I cook dinner - not much attention being able to be given to him during this time. We eat as a family, then daddy does bath time and he goes to bed. There are nights I wonder if I cuddled him enough, loved him enough, played with him enough. If I gave him my best at all - or if that went to a million different other tasks instead.

Not complaining here. Just pondering. And wondering how I will feel once Sawyer arrives and my love, time and affection and spread even more thin. I'm familiar with mommy guilt and sure don't like living there. I guess I'm just wondering what my perfect balance is. Do I keep working full time? Cut to part time? Bite the bullet and take a sabbatical for a year or two? (Choice C here is quite unrealistic financially). I guess I won't really know what's best for our family until S arrives in July. But for now, I'm wondering.

Less than 10 weeks to go! Well...hopefully more like 8. I'm ready. And then again I'm not. :-)

One Day I Will Be Able to Make This Shot

2010-04-30T18:22:00.000-07:00

The Start of My Day

2010-04-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd share the beautiful voice I wake up to every morning.

I love that I'm the first thing he wants when he wakes up. It puts me in a great mood to start my day!

Today...

2010-04-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

I am 26 weeks along...

I have 98 days to go (woohoo! broke into the double digits!)...

I have already peed 37 times (ok...slight embellishment)....

I am 30 pounds up. Ugh....

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and am more excited than ever to meet Sawyer!

Bath Time Preparedness

2010-04-13T03:34:00.000-07:00

Let the brothers bath time fun begin!

Easter Weekend

2010-04-05T04:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter from my family to yours!

Friday Night Leftovers

2010-04-02T01:53:00.000-07:00

It's time again for Friday Night Leftovers! Want to play? Go see Danifried to see how.

1 - Well, let's just file this one under the "that's new" department. Today I sneezed, causing me to lose bladder control for a brief and not so glorious moment. Oh the joys and sexiness of pregnancy the 2nd time of around when the baby sits low on the bladder. It's not even like I had to pee bad when the sneeze occurred. This could get interesting.

2 - Still fighting insomnia here and there. Yep....it's 4:39 a.m. as I write this post. This has got to stop. So I guess this is more "Friday Wee Hours of the Morning Leftovers" than Friday night. Oh well. Still fun.

3 - Easter!!!! I LOVE easter. Today I will attend a Good Friday service, tomorrow we have an Easter Egg Hunt with Grayson and then on Sunday we will head to church for great services at www.LoudOnPurpose.com. If church isn't a normal part of your Easter routine, this year could always be the one to give it a try. Church doesn't have to be boring....mine sure isn't. Hope you can find one near you that fits your family.

4 - Speaking of Easter, last year I found it hard to find a basket for Grayson that wasn't all girly and what not. So I went to etsy.com and found this. I love it and highly recommend. A little late for ordering this year, but a good purchase for next. You can get yours here. She sells out some, but always restocks. And yes, Sawyer will be getting his special order soon.

5 - This week I had my 24 week appt. This one actually deserves it's very own post because we are now at viability stage people!! It's so comforting to know that if something were to happen that Sawyer has a fighting chance of making it outside my womb. And it only gets better from here!

6 - Grayson and I head down to Florida this week with my parents. We'll be visiting my grandma and some other family and just be chilaxin. Really looking forward to the downtime and the sun! While we're away, Sawyer's room will be painted and assembled. Really looking forward to coming home to see that and starting to get everything in order. Once it's done a video tour will follow.

7 - Tonight is date night!! Nothing spectacular planned, but excited about getting out with my husband as always. As an added perk, the weather is gorgeous here today, so I'm sure we'll head to an outdoor town center area for our dinner this evening. And of course there will be a movie....just not sure which one yet.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Tipping the Scales

2010-03-31T04:36:00.000-07:00

It's official. I weigh more than my husband. I really just hate that. And as I continue to soar upwards, and he stays the same or worse, loses - it will be at least August - if not October - before the scales tip back in a favorable position for me. Not cool. Not cool at all.

That's all for now. :-) Just wanted to lament.

Friday Night Leftovers

2010-03-26T01:41:00.000-07:00

It's time again for Friday Night Leftovers!

1 - Insomnia sucks. I remember having it intermittently with Grayson, but 2 nights this week I've been up from 2:30 to 5 a.m. Not fun! This has got to stop! Not sure if it's a hormonal thing, or a stress thing over getting everything ready for Sawyer. Whatever it is I hate it. (I'm actually writing this post at 4:45 a.m.....cause what else is there to do?!)

2 - Sawyer's furniture arrives this week! I'm so excited to be getting things done. This weekend the current furniture moves out and the room gets painted by the hubs. On Tuesday, furniture goes in and I plan on at least getting the bedding up and on the crib. I also can't wait for the dresser (which also arrives Tuesday) so that I can start organizing all of his little clothes. Yes, I still have 4 months to go and plenty of time, but I want to be done by 30 weeks or so. A/Just in case something happens and he comes super duper early (God forbid) and B/I already am exhausted doing little tasks around the house and know I need to get things done before that gets worse.

3 - Fat feet. Sigh. It's happening again. My feet are blowing up. I imagine within a month I will only fit in flip flops and crocs once again. Such a bummer. My feet grew a 1/2 size and went wider after Grayson. Really hoping that same pattern doesn't happen again so I can stay in most my shoes after baby.

4 - Letting go. In Sawyer room prep, I've been going through old stuff and either pitching it, relocating it or marking it for a garage sale. I did something hard today. I said farewell to all my really cute, really small bikinis. I've been holding on to them for years and haven't actually been IN them since 05 - prior to my 1st pregnancy and miscarriage. My body shape really changed after that first one, even though I only made it to 10 weeks. I think it's safe to say that I will never be that small again post babies. Sigh. And...if by some miracle, I am, it will just be more fun to buy new ones now won't it?

That's about all for now! I think....

Want to join Friday Night Leftovers? Go over and see Danifried.

Headed to the Tour

2010-03-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

Check out Grayson's golf skills. His little practice golf set at home is his favorite toy...and now his Pop has gotten him a real deal set. This was taken last week while we enjoyed some warm weather in Naples. They are a bit heavy for him, but he'll get there.

PGA tour here we come !

Inquiring Minds...Answered

2010-03-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

So...in my Coming Attractions post, Katie asked how we manage to go out to the movies once a week. Do we hire a sitter? Do we have family nearby? Friend trade?

The answer is, YES.

David and I have always been big daters. It obviously started when we were...duh....still dating, but after marriage it didn't stop. B.G. (before Grayson), we would be out to dinner, or a movie, or both, 3 to 5 days a week. We just like to go and do. When Grayson was still in the belly, we discussed it and decided that getting out was a priority for us and that no matter what, we would find time at least once a week to get out.

First of all, we are very blessed to have both sets of in-laws living within 5 miles of us. David's parents have a crazy travel schedule and split their time between here and Florida, so they do sit for us from time to time when they are available. My mom on the other hand, watches Grayson for me 2 mornings a week while I work, plus can always be counted on for another time should we need it. Most often this is a Saturday or Sunday afternoon time slot. Grayson naps at her house, and we head out to a movie. She's also gloriously available for overnighters should we need or want one. I must admit this was more of a draw when G was younger and I needed to catch up on sleep. Now that he's older, sleeps so good and is SO much fun in the mornings, I don't take her up on this as much. Unless we are going to be out late and it just makes more sense.

We also hire a sitter once a week or so. We go to a great church and know lots of high school and college students who thankfully love our son. So we have a decent pool of sitters to pull from that we are very comfortable with. For a while....probably about a 6 month period or so, we had a set sitter every Friday night. I told her we would use her every Friday as long as she was up for it, and like clockwork each week she'd show up and we'd go out. Unfortunately we lost her to college this fall...but I'm sure I will find someone else to offer the weekly job to eventually.

Hiring a sitter can be pricey for a full evening out, but is well worth it. And, I do pay well, because I want the sitter to want to come back and do it again.

The weeks we can't find a sitter for some reason, we've done family date nights. I like to head to the old town area of our city and hit the library and grab a casual dinner out at a pizza place or burger/wings joint.

We've also "friend swapped", or I guess more "family swapped" too on a few occasions. My little sister has 3 boys (6, 3 1/2 and 9 months) and we've done the I'll watch yours if you'll watch mine next time thing. She says right now it's not fair to do since hers outnumber mine so far, but I love playing with them and don't mind one bit.

Now, at the moment, with me being preggers and all, the dating has changed a bit. I'm not always up for the full night out, so often it's just a movie or just dinner. But it's rare a week goes by that we don't get out alone in some capacity. And I know as soon as I have this baby, I'll be ready to kick it back up with authority. Even if at the beginning S is coming out with us and G stays home with a sitter.

And lastly...we date at home too. A lot. We are lucky cause Grayson goes to bed at 6:30 each night. This gives us a couple hours of alone time in the evenings to watch a movie, or tv series (we recently finished Six Feet Under via netflix). In the summertime we enjoy sitting on our deck and talking over some wine (well...not so much wine for me these days). Once Sawyer pops out my goal is to get him on an early sleep schedule like Grayson as soon as I can. If I recall, Grayson was going to bed that early by 2 months or so. Gee I wish I was better at writing stuff down. It could've been 3 months I guess.

So there you have it! We're daters. Always have been, always will be. We both know we both need it, so we make it happen. We realized that it keeps us happy and relaxed and makes us enjoy our time at home with G even more.

Looking ahead, I don't see bambino # 2 slowing us down....at least for long. I realize 2 is going to be more challenging then 1...I really do. I just know that when we are determined, we can do it somehow.

Boys Will Be Boys

2010-03-14T11:46:00.000-07:00

I will never quite understand why boys find bodily function noises so funny, but for now, his laugh sure is cute! Here is Grayson enjoying his daddy entertaining him with the ifart iphone app. Ew. Who creates such a thing? Oh wait...a man.

Friday Night Leftovers

2010-03-05T17:55:00.001-08:00

A place for the random thoughts swimming around your head, that don't quite constitute a blog entry.

1 - Yea! I finally remembered to do this on the right day! Been meaning to for weeks but keep forgetting.

2 - I reached the halfway point this week and hit the 20 week mark on Wednesday. It feels good to know that I'm over the hump, so to speak.

3 - On Sunday we head out of town for a few days and down to sunny Naples, Florida. Really looking forward to getting away and hanging out with my husband's parents and doing a lot of nothing. If you're in that area and see a beached whale hanging out on the sand, that will be me.

4 - Yea! The Oscars are this weekend! As you know, I LOVE movies. There was a time that I'd see every nominated movie prior to the academy awards. Yea...that doesn't happen these days. But, I have seen about 60% of the nominated films, so here are my not totally educated pics. Not necessarily who I want to win, but who I think will win in the top 3 categories:

Best Picture: Avatar
Best Actor: Colin Firth, A Single Man
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side

5 - Lastly, had a bit of a scare this week on Thursday. I had some pretty bad pressure and cramping that didn't sit well with me, followed by the teeniest bit of spot. I went in to get checked and all is well with Sawyer. Cervix closed, placenta where it should be, plenty of fluid and all that good stuff. We even got another quick peek at him in an ultrasound. It was a freaky couple of hours, but the doc assured me all is well. She said the pressure was probably just growing pains, which get worse with each pregnancy. She suggested I get a maternity belt to help. Oh joy, I get to become even sexier than I am now.

Want to join in the fun? Go over to see Danifried to find out how!

Pregnancy Must Have Update!

2010-03-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

This Sunday's paper (2/28) had a $4 off coupon for the Schick Intuition - my pregnancy must have #3. I believe it was a Smart Source coupon insert. Clip it and save! And if you clip coupons and don't plan on using that one, send it to me! :-)

Coming Attractions

2010-03-01T12:23:00.000-08:00

I hit 20 weeks tomorrow. Halfway there! To say that time is crawling by is an understatement. Everyone said second pregnancies fly by. They lied. There are moments it feels as though time is standing still; that I've been pregnant forever already and that it is forever and ever until July 21st. So, to help myself pass the time, I've decided to set myself some other mile markers in the form of my favorite past time.

It's no secret I love movies. My water broke with Grayson at the movies, and he was out to see his first one at 2 weeks old. Now granted, since his birth I don't get to see all the movies I'd like, but for the most part we get in one a week still, which ain't bad. So, here is a list of movies I can't wait for, along with a countdown to Sawyer. I need shorter goals here than the one 20 weeks away. For some odd reason, I feel like this will help.

Alice In Wonderland
1 week (well, 4 days really) 'til movie release
20 weeks from Sawyer's due date
Why I Can't Wait: Disney film + Johnny Depp playing a trippy character - which is what he does best

Date Night
6 weeks 'til movie release
Just shy of 15 weeks from Sawyer's due date
Why I Can't Wait: Tina Fey and Steve Carrell are 2 of the funniest people on the planet. So glad they are finally teaming up.

Death at a Funeral
7 weeks 'til movie release
Just shy of 14 weeks from Sawyer's Due Date
Why I Can't Wait: I LOVED the British version and even own it. The casting in this one looks great and I can't wait to see what they do with the remake.

Sex & The City 2
13 weeks 'til movie release
Just shy of 8 weeks from Sawyer's Due Date
Why I Can't Wait: I LOVED this series. I own all the seasons, have watched every episode at least 5 times. And, it's good luck. My water broke with Grayson the day after seeing the 1st movie.

The A-Team
15 weeks 'til movie release
Just shy of 6 weeks til Sawyer's due date
Why I Can't Wait: Freeze frame the trailer at exactly 1:00. That's why I can't wait.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
17 1/2 weeks til movie release (Wednesday opening)
3 weeks from Sawyer's due date (wooohooo! we're getting closer!)
Why I Can't Wait: To say I'm obsessed with these books and movies doesn't cut it. I've been to midnight book releases and movie openings, and I'm sure this one is no exception. I even have plans already to host a twilight themed pampered chef party on the midnight release night!

Sigh...no trailer to show yet, but it comes out in the next week or so and I will post.

After Eclipse, I'm in the home stretch...the month of July. Here's to hoping I go 10 days early with Sawyer, like I did with Grayson!

Farewell Until We Meet Again

2010-02-25T16:37:00.000-08:00

Today I said a sad farewell to my wedding rings. This is no surprise really, it happened with my last pregnancy as well. Although, I did make it a little further along last go around. This morning I had a few moments where I thought I may have to get it cut off as it didn't budge. But, thanks to much advice on twitter and facebook, some ice cubes followed by olive oil did the trick.

Right now I'm giving my poor finger a bit of a rest and letting the circulation return to my fingernail. But tomorrow I will put on what I lovingly call my "fat band", until I can squeeze the real things back on.

Goodbye rings. I will miss you and see you sometime in the late summer or early fall.

Pregnancy Must Have #3

2010-02-22T15:18:00.000-08:00

Now, this next must have is for a little later in pregnancy. For when the belly bulge is really out there and in the way. When, let's be honest, it's harder to keep up with some of our female grooming. We're tired, we're huge. We can't see our legs, let alone figure out the delicate balance necessary to lather up with shaving gel, shave and not fall flat on our face.

Let me introduce my pregnancy must have # 3: The Schick Intuition Razor.

This lovely little wonder tool....

"lathers, shaves and moisturizes in one easy step so there is no need for shave gel, soap or body wash. Now with 4 blades, it will leave your skin noticeably softer! It is simple to use so Trust Your Intuition® and try it!"

This little gadget can be purchased at any drugstore, grocery store and even on amazon.com. It is more expensive than your run of the mill Bic, but is a worthy investment that your significant other, and your OB, will thank you for.

First Personalized Purchase

2010-02-19T16:04:00.000-08:00

I am OBSESSED with getting things personalized and monogrammed. Grayson has his name and/or initials on so much of his stuff. I'm trying to scale back a bit for the next little guy, so that some more items have some resale value. But, I couldn't resist on the day I found out he is indeed a boy, to make just one personalized purchase.

I ordered these personalized pacifier and bottle/cup labels for the little guy. I have them for Grayson and they are great! They are easy to get off if necessary, but stay where they are put, even in the dishwasher. This is a definite must have item in my opinion for the little one, especially if they will be in day care, a mommy and me group, the church nursery, or anywhere else where their stuff could be mistaken for someone else's. And they are cheap!

What name will these labels have on them you ask? This little guy's name will be "Sawyer".

Mommy can't wait to meet you Sawyer and she is going to buy you so much crapola that everyone will know is yours!

It's a...

2010-02-17T06:35:00.000-08:00

Boy!

No surprise there! We pretty much suspected so and are thrilled about it!

Grayson will have a brother to play with! This is going to be fun.

Ultrasound pics to come later, but just wanted to get the news out!

Pink or Blue?

2010-02-16T04:44:00.000-08:00

In about 24 hours I will know if this little person growing inside is a boy or a girl! Too say I'm excited is an understatement. I am a HUGE planner, and can't wait to start making purchases that are gender specific. I have certain items I bought for Grayson that are mongrammed, and I want to get those same items for this next little one. Things like this, this and this. And, most likely in room decorating, we will do these again, like we did for G. It has been killing me to not be able to pull the trigger and start decorating.

We also have picked out a new furniture set for the little one, but if it's a girl we are thinking white finish, and if it's a boy we're thinking espresso finish.

So many decisions out there to be completed, but alas, I've been in the waiting game. I'm so, so, SO excited about tomorrow. I imagine I won't sleep tonight.

A lot of people have asked me what I'd like to have. The answer is an 100% truthful "I really don't care". There are definite pros and cons to both.

If it's a boy:

Simpler - I already have most the stuff
Names - I'm more sold on our boy name than girl (I like the girl name, just not the possible nickname)
I know how much I love my little boy and love the idea of saying "my boys"

If it's a girl:

Yea! pink things!
Our families would be pretty pumped - right now there is only 1 girl on each side in the grandkid department (1 out of 3 so far on David's side; 1 out of 6 so far on my side).
A girl could be nice cause we all know girls are the ones who really take care of the parents when we are old. :-)
And lastly, if it's a girl, there is a good chance we will hang up our having kids hat if we want to. (although it's possible we could still go for a 3rd - with another boy it's more likely we will go for number 3)

I have to admit. When they said it was a boy at my last ultrasound, I cried. And no, it wasn't tears of joy (which is what I lied and told my husband), but tears of disappointment. I really wanted not just A girl but ALL girls, like the way I grew up. I thought I wouldn't know what to do with a boy. Now on the other hand, I totally LOVE the idea of all boys.

I can't stand the waiting, but it will soon all be over. I will be sure to blog tomorrow early in the day with an update! (Our appt is at 8 a.m. EST - if I recall from last time it was about a 45 minute appt.)

Who Wears....I Mean BUYS....the (Under)Pants in Your Family?

2010-02-15T06:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday as we shopped around prior to our Valentine's Day date, I bought some underwear for my husband as his current pairs are in rough shape. As I paid for the purchase (since he refused), I began thinking back and recalling, that to my best recollection, I've always bought his underpants when necessary since the day we were married. And, before me, I'm pretty sure his mom bought them for him. So I asked him if he had ever once in his life, bought his own underwear.

The answer was "no".

I tend to think my man isn't the only one who's gone straight from mama to wife in the "embarassing" department of buying skivvies.

So ladies, what about your man? Does he buy his own? Do you buy them for him? Did his mom used to do this duty for him as well? Has he ever made this type of purchase on his own? And why o why is this something a capable, independent man, will not do on his own? Do tell.....

Let Me Count the Ways

2010-02-14T12:05:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to my love of over 10 years. In June we will celebrate 11 years together; in September 8 years of marriage.

Here are just a few reasons why I love you:

You are HOT and just keep getting better
You are my best friend
No one makes me laugh harder than you can
You are an amaaaaazing daddy to Grayson and I know you will be to this next little one too
You still make dating me a priority
You love going to the movies as much as I do
You tell me that I'm beautiful when I'm 50 lbs plus and pregnant, knowing when it's the right time to lie
You know that the best present you can ever get me is a small coffee from dunkin donuts
You have given me a little blue box in the bottom of my stocking every Christmas. You have good taste man.
You let me cook for you 'cause you know I love it; even though you would rather be eating PB & J

There are so many more reasons, but I won't list them all. And, I know you don't read my blog and probably won't even see this. But, I wanted to share with everyone out there that I am one lucky woman.

Love you!

To Bare the Belly, Or Not To...that is the question

2010-02-13T11:46:00.000-08:00

When I was first pregnant, I really thought I was going to do the whole belly pic every few weeks and journal the journey through photos of my growing gut. Three miscarriages later, I just never started. I think it was a combination of not wanting to jinx things when I was pregnant with Grayson, and in all honesty, being kinda grossed out at times by my own belly and not wanting to subject others to it. :-)

So this time around, I thought about starting it early. I really did. I even have a great What to Expect app on my iphone that lets you take the pics and store them in there. But I just never started. Again, I think I was afraid things wouldn't last at first. Plus, I didn't do it for Grayson, and I wanted to be fair for my kids and all.

Then, Katie asked if I had any belly pics to share, and I decided that although I didn't yet, I'd at least do one. Now I kinda wish I'd done it with Grayson to compare. I sure feel a whole lot bigger this go around than last.

So, here I be. 17 weeks, 3 days. It's okay if you are grossed out. I am a little bit too.

Pregnancy Must Have #2

2010-02-11T05:55:00.000-08:00

Ok, now this one may seem simple and unimportant, but it helped me get some much needed rest as my bump began to grow last time around.

Pregnancy Must Have #2 - Invest in a pair of slinky, satiny PJ's. No, no, not like a sexy nighty or anything, but a pair of large men's style pj's. Like these ones pictured to the right:

Why do you need these you ask? Well, I don't know about you, but as my bump started to grow, I found myself waking up in the middle of the night as I was turning over because I would get "caught" on my belly. It would get in the way, making it impossible to make a smooth flip in my sleep. These satin pj's glide along the sheets and helped me make some flips in the night without waking up from getting caught on my big ole' belly.

Now, it's not a permanent fix. As the stomach grows there is absolutely nothing that can fix the problem and bring good sleep. But this little tip can bring you weeks, if not a couple months of extra zzzz's.

Don't spend alot of money on them - I got mine at Target for about $19.99 from the Gilligan & O'Malley brand. Also, don't forget to go up a size or two to allow room for growth. And, as an added bonus, these type of pj's work great for nursing once the baby comes as they allow easy access to the feeders. :-)

Happy shopping!

Pregnancy Must Have #1

2010-02-09T06:45:00.001-08:00

Thought I'd share with you guys some of pregnancy must haves. My first recommendation is:

Biggs & Featherbelle Belly Balm

To me, this product is a miracle cream. You see, I got big when pregnant with Grayson. No really, seriously BIG. Like HUGE big. I gained 50 pounds. It was gross. But the amazing thing is, I didn't get a single stretch mark.

I was ready for them. Both my sisters and my mom all have them. I've heard they are hereditary so I just assumed I would get them too. My little sister heard about this belly balm that Heidi Klum swears by, and figured she'd gift it to me to give a shot. I generously slathered it on my growing belly every night before bed. And towards the end of the pregnancy I added an extra application in the morning after my shower as well.

Now, I guess it's always possible the cream has nothing to do with the fact that I didn't get stretch marks. But, I'm not taking any chances this time. I've been liberally applying the stuff to my rapidly growing belly every evening and praying, wishing, hoping it does it's magic again.

Here I am....exactly 1 week out from having my little Gman (pictured with my dad). I'm sure I'll get every bit as big this time too. My weight so far is tracking the same as last time.

If you are pregnant and trying to avoid stretch marks, this is my #1 "Must-Have" for pregnancy.

You can buy it online here. Or, I found mine at my Whole Foods store.

Happy slathering everyone!

The Quest

2010-02-06T07:12:00.000-08:00

It's always fun to have a quest. Something to search for. It can be a fun hobby. But when the quest is unattainable it sure is frustrating.

My current quest is to obtain the double stroller I want. Bad news is, it's been discontinued by Graco. When I was registering for Grayson, I went with the g galore pattern and loved it. I have the infant seat, single stroller, toddler car seat, as well as the step 3 car seat that will take him all the way up to the booster car seat stage. I often pondered just biting the bullet and purchasing the double stroller - Graco Quattro Tour Duo Stroller in G Galore - but never pulled the trigger. I just had too much fear that I was going to have a double stroller, and no second child to put in it. Plus at about $250, it was a big investment. Now that I'm pregnant and need it, it is of course nowhere to be found.

I had a small glimmer of hope last week as I found one on wash dc craigslist used, but alas, it had already been sold by the time I contacted. I've even contacted some sellers on craigslist as far away as seattle and dallas about the stroller they have for sale, but can't seem to get any responses. Sigh.

I'm anal. I have to have everything match. If I can't find this stroller, it means I'll have to start all over again with a new pattern and get all the pieces. I really don't want to do this! Any suggestions for a girl looking for a discontinued stroller? I'm totally fine with used...I just want to match!

Not My Normal Luck

2010-02-02T05:11:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday, our local pea in the pod store had the grand opening of it's expanded destination maternity store. If you've never been to a destination maternity, they are glorious. They have motherhood maternity, mimi maternity, pea in the pod AND cute baby and mommy stuff all in one place. Definitely a great 1 stop shopping kind of place for us preggos.

I received a postcard in the mail saying that the first 25 people to come in on opening day would receive a 10, 25, 50, 100 or 500 gift card. I kinda liked those odds - 1 in 25 chance of $500, so I decided to go. And I recruited my sister, who loves doing things like this, to come with me. She owed me anyway - I've gone to American Idol auditions with her and lined up for Twilight crazed stuff among other things.

We arrived at about 7:40 - the store opened at 10 and we were the first ones there. It was cold out, so we waited in our car for a bit since no one else was really there. And really no one else really started to show up until a few minutes after 9. At that point we lined up outside, and I secured my #1 spot in line. My mom ended up coming and standing in line today behind us - so my odds just went up to a 3 in 25 chance of the $500 gift card (since sis and mom aren't preggo, they were gonna give to me).

When they opened the doors and let us in, I turned over my card and lo and behold, I GOT THE $500 GIFT CARD!!! AHHHHH! I was SO excited as you can imagine. And it gets better...my mom got another $50 card. So I have $550 glorious dollars to spend there.

I haven't spent it yet, cause I'm planning what I want to get, but I will soon. (Oh and btw the sis got a $10 card - but she kept it to use on nursing pads since she's still breastfeeding. I so graciously let her since I didn't need it. Ha!)

This is so NOT my normal luck. I never win anything. So this was definitely a nice change!

Hawaii

2010-01-30T03:16:00.000-08:00

From January 11th to 22nd me and my hubbie and Grayson jetted to Hawaii for some family fun as David had a work conference over there. This is one of those trips that I've known we were going on for 4 years so it was pretty exciting for it to finally be here. We were smart also and brought my parents along to nanny so that we could have some quiet time too.

Here's a little photo journal from the trip:

We had to take 3 planes both there and back. A 1 hr flight to Charlotte, a 10 hour (yikes!) flight to Honolulu, then a 20 minute flight to our island. All in all I have to say Grayson did great! I was totally dreading it, but with the combo of his car seat, dramamine, benadryl, mickey mouse dvd's and of course lollipops it was a very smooth trip. So proud of him!

Grayson enjoyed playing in the pacific ocean. He had no fear of the waves!

This is my favorite pic of daddy and grayson from the trip

Showing Buddha he's got a great little belly too!

He LOVED playing in the sand and getting it all over himself, including in his hair. Daily baths were necessary!

A family photo as we all look at the one to come. And yes, I know. I am HUGE already!

This pic makes me kinda sad cause he looks so grown up!

He loved all the birds that were around the resorts

What a ham! Cheeeeeeeeese!

I must admit I had fun playing in the water with him too.

It was a great trip! A shame he won't remember it, but I will and I have some great photo memories!

My Other Blog

2010-01-14T23:26:00.001-08:00

A couple of times a month, I also post on another blog. It's part of my day job. It's not just me, but the team I get to work with. They have some great stuff to say too.

I share this with you now, because my most recent post is something I also wanted to share with all of you. So check it out.

12 week ultrasound

2010-01-09T06:52:00.000-08:00

Can't believe we are here but am so thankful we are!

It's Here!

2010-01-05T06:15:00.000-08:00

I've been tracking my doppler obsessively over the past few days via ups tracking, and yesterday morning discovered it was out on the truck for delivery. woohoo! As my husband and I sat on the couch yesterday afternoon during G's nap time, every little noise I heard was the ups truck. The wind, a neighbors car, a plane overhead, the garbage truck. It finally came at about 2:45 and I ran outside to get it, ripped it open, squeezed out some jelly and put it to work. It took me about a minute but then I found it! That beautiful galloping noise that is my baby's heartbeat. That sound is one of the most beautiful in the world! Goes right up there with the sound of Grayson giggling his little heart out.

When I hit the right spot and found it, my whole body relaxed and a HUGE smile broke out on my face. I said to my husband "Wow. We're having a baby!". I know I've known this for some time, but now it is very, very real. All of our losses were before this point (10 1/2 weeks was latest, but something had happened during week 9). This is it. Real, live baby #2. So excited I can't stand it!

11 weeks 5 days today. Crazy! 2nd trimester here I come. And can I just say, I'm ready for this stupid queasiness and exhaustion to go away. Also, I sure am HUGE already, so it's a good thing I'm about ready to make my "public" announcement on facebook on Friday after our next ultrasound. I'm sure everyone I know either suspects or thinks I really hit the christmas cookies to hard over the holidays. :-)

More to come on Friday....and I'll post pics then too!

On Order

2009-12-30T14:40:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I hit 11 weeks. Hard to believe!

So I cracked again this time and decided to rent a doppler again. With Grayson, I was able to hear his sweet little heart beating right at 11 weeks. My doppler won't arrive this time around til Monday...at least that's what the UPS tracking tells me. So by then I will be 11 weeks 4 days. Really hoping I hear everything and all is well on Monday. Everyone says you should be able to hear it at 11 weeks, but that you shouldn't freak out if you can't because it can be up until 13 or 14 weeks.

I have a feeling though that I will be freaking out on Monday if I hear silence. So fingers crossed and much prayers asked for the sound of galloping horses in my very near future.

Bringin' Mittens Back!

2009-12-24T08:10:00.000-08:00

I have to share this you tube video with you guys. Just in time for the holidays Grayson and his best friend Nate are bringing Mittens Back! Check it out here. He is the one who wouldn't keep his mittens on. Child actors...what are you gonna do? :-)

Merry Christmas everyone!

Coming Out....Well, Partially

2009-12-19T04:12:00.000-08:00

I have been rather quiet on here over the past weeks, because I've been keeping something to myself.

I am PREGNANT!

We are super excited and of course a little nervous. I have had 2 ultrasounds so far, the most recent being yesterday, and both have been great. Measuring good, heartbeat strong (188).

I'm am 9 weeks 1 day today. Hard to believe.

I've only made it to this point with 2 out of my 5 pregnancies - which feels pretty good. And I've also been pretty darn queasy all day every day, which has been oddly comforting. Yesterday's u/s was the least nervous I've ever been going in to one.

I'd show you my adorably cute little blob on the u/s photo, but I haven't scanned it yet. We have a 3rd one on January 8th - and I will be 12 weeks then. So I'll be sure to post after that.

I really think that this is one is going to stick. I'm already very attached to this little bean and am making all kinds of plans for a July 21st due date. Grayson will be just over 2 which is a great age gap I think.

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. And...if you know me in real life, I'm doing my best to keep this under wraps for a few more weeks. (Although, I sure feel like I look pregnant already so this could be tough). So...shhhh. Don't tell anyone! And if you want to offer me congrats in person...please do so discreetly. Thanks!!

In Threes

2009-10-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

They always say bad things come in threes. I just now learned that a 3rd friend of mine has miscarried. It was one week ago today I found out about one, 5 days ago I found out about another and just 5 minutes ago I found out about the last. They were anywhere from 8 weeks along to 3 1/2 months along. The distance in pregnancy doesn't really matter. It all royally sucks.

My heart is super heavy for my friends right now. Some I know better than others, but that doesn't change my heart breaking for them.

It has me thinking a lot about my own quest for bambino #2. We are steady trying these days...so far with no success. I'm currently in the 2 week wait...my least favorite part of the whole cycle for sure. If it is true and bad things come in threes, I can't help but wonder if because I've already had 3 losses if I'm exempt from more? Or if there are three more to come before I get the joy of another Grayson? I must admit I'm living in fear right now, but trying not to. It's hard though.

Woosh

2009-10-20T13:19:00.000-07:00

Just saw on facebook that a friend lost her baby. She is 10 weeks along. Woosh. All my emotions on the day I discovered my losses come flooding back. It hate how unfair miscarriages are.

There are lots of other pregnant ladies in our circle and I know how hard it will be for her to watch their bellies grow while hers doesn't.

Pray for Sarah and her husband Zack. Today sucks for them.

Firsts

2009-09-14T07:19:00.000-07:00

The past 15 1/2 months have been full of too many "firsts" to keep track of.

First time Grayson smiled
First time he said "mama"
First crawl
First steps
First explosive poop
First tooth
First time puking in the car
First time playing in the snow
First time in the pool
First trip to Disney world...and puking in the car

This weekend we were outdoors having fun at a wine festival and Grayson did another first. We were walking next to each other, and he reached up for my hand. Melt my heart! Now, we hold hands a lot when we walk, but up to this point I've had to grab his. But not this time. He looked up at me, smiled, and reached up. I wish I could have it on video, but I know it will be forever engrained perfectly in my brain.

Oh it's the moments like this that make every tear shed in the "trying" worth it, and make me know that I can go through the "trying" again, even if it gets hard again.

Where's Pop?

2009-08-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

My husband's parents spend a lot of time at their home in Florida, but Grayson sure does love them and miss them when they're gone. He has this little photo album of them that he looks at all the time. And if you ask him "Where's Pop?", he will go straight for it..

Recipes!!

2009-08-25T16:58:00.000-07:00

I LOVE to cook. My husband though for the first 6 3/4 years of our marriage would just assume eat peanut butter & jelly for every meal. I was so excited at the beginning of the summer when he told me he wanted to start eating "real" meals for dinner as long as they were healthy. So since then I've been cooking at least 4 nights a week and loving every minute of it. Something about searching out of recipes, buying all the ingredients and preparing them is so relaxing to me. And I love that we have now started a great tradition of eating together as a family.

I thought I'd share a few recipes I've made this summer that I have thoroughly enjoyed. And the best part...none of them are super bad for you!

Fish Tacos
Serves 2 to 4 people

For the Fish....
Sprinkle a mild fish (I use mahi mahi, but tilapia, etc., would work great too) with salt pepper, cumin and chili powder. Saute in a small amount of EVOO over medium high heat until cooked through. Shred between 2 forks and set aside ( I use 1 fish filet per person...which is enough for 2 people plus leftovers for lunch the next day.)

For the Pico De Gallo
Dice/seed 1 large tomato, 1/2 a red onion and chop a good handful of cilantro. Combine with juice from 1 lime and set aside.

For the Chipotle Aioli
the key ingredient that is super yummy!
6 T. mayo (I use lowfat)
2 T. chopped fresh cilantro or 2 tsp. dried
1 to 2 cloves minced garlic (i like to use the hand graters for this)
1/2 tsp. cumin
1/4 tsp. chili powder
4 tsp lime juice (about 1/2 of a good sized lime)
Salt & Pepper to taste
Combine together, mix well and chill til ready to serve

Warm flour tortillas in the oven or microwave (i just wrap in paper towel and heat for 30 to 45 seconds)

To assemble tacos, put desired amount of fish in tortilla, top with pico de gallo and drizzle with the aioli. It is delicious!

Mexican Corn on the Cob
Wrap 2 to 4 ears of corn on the cob in very wet paper towels (each ear should have it's own wrapping)
Place on a plate and microwave for 4 minutes
This makes perfect corn on the cob every time!
Then rub the corn with a small amount of mayo (sounds weird I know..but trust me!)
Then sprinkle with a small amount of chili powder and salt
This is a great side for the tacos.

Tonight, I made Scallops with Herbed Raw Tomato Sauce courtesy of Rachael Ray. It really was easy and I used a mixture of fresh and dried herbs, and frozen scallops that I thawed out. And it was really yummy! 30 minute meals with Rachael Ray was my 1st inspiration to start cooking back in the first year of our marriage.

I also made my lunch for tomorrow...and my husbands lunch for the middle of the night (he's been on night work all summer so his lunch is at like 2 in the morning). It's a Greek Salad recipe from the magazine Cuisine at Home (which has been the source of some of my favorite recipes in the past). It's very easy to assemble and is great for leftovers as well.

For the dressing
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1/4 cup lemon juice
3 T. olive oil
1 T. sugar
2 cloves minced garlic
1/4 tsp each dried rosemary, thyme, and oregano (recipe calls for fresh..but i've always used dried instead since I have it on hand)
pinch of crushed red pepper flakes
Salt
Whisk together, cover and refrigerate
Set aside 1/4 cup to marinate chicken

For the Chicken
Marinate in dressing for 5 minutes to 2 hours
Grill or saute until cooked through
Slice into strips

For the Salad
2 Hearts of Romaine chopped - Or bagged romaine lettuce prewashed and chopped
1 to 2 tomatoes diced
1/2 english cucumber diced
1/2 cup kalamata olives pitted and diced (I buy already pitted)
1/2 cup feta cheese (I add more because I love it!)
1 cup assorted bell peppers diced (most the time I just use 1 red bell pepper)
1/2 red onion diced or slivered
(I eyeball all above ingredients.....and sometimes omit something if I'm out of it)

Combine all ingredients for salad, mix with dressing and toss in chicken.
Can be served with Pita Bread

The First Disney Experience

2009-08-24T07:16:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I headed to Orlando for a cousin's wedding. And I couldn't be in such close proximity of Disney without making a detour to the happiest place on earth! I LOVE Disney and look forward to many future trips with Grayson as he gets older. My husband couldn't make the pre-trip, and made me promise not to hit the Magic Kingdom without him. So we decided to venture to the Animal Kingdom instead.

As we drove through the gates that said "Welcome to Disney World" I was so excited to be sharing the moment with my little man. I turned around to tell him how exciting it was and get a smile out of him, and instead, he gave me a confused look and projectile vomited all over himself. Truly a moment I will remember forever. His first disney experience and he gets sick. (Thankfully it wasn't a bug or anything...just a result of my mom deciding half and half mixed with skim milk would equal whole milk for a baby - um...wrong). After we got him all cleaned up, he was feeling great and we were on our way.

We headed first to a character breakfast inside the park. My sister Brenda - who is the queen of all things Disney World - came with us with 2 of her 3 boys.

He really didn't like the characters at all...and I really can't blame him. They are kind of scary.

Meeting Mickey for the first time

Sheer terror. Love it!

Hanging out on a bench with his cousin Ashton...after having to leave "It's a Bug's Life 3D" due to again...sheer terror.

Passed out in the stroller from a busy morning.

Wrapping up the afternoon with tea at the Grand Floridian. He loved the strawberries and cream and made a HUGE mess...but he loved every second of it.

It was a great trip and I so look forward to future jaunts to disney. In January 2011 we will be at a work convention down there, so I'm sure that will be our first full family experience at the parks. I'm ready to start planning now! But...sigh...disney won't let me book anything this far in advance. But I'm planning in my head already!

Oh...and this trip was Grayson's 8th round trip flying and 16th flight. The kid is a pro at going through security!

The Big 3-0

2009-08-18T05:17:00.000-07:00

Today I leave my 20's behind and all the fond (and not so fond memories) of it.

I say good bye to:

-The decade in which I married my wonderful husband
-The decade in which I welcomed my beautiful son
-The decade in which I said goodbye to three precious babies
-The decade in which I saw so much personal and spiritual growth as a result
-A wrinkle free face
-A working metabolism
-A body unaffected by gravity

And I say hello to:
-A new decade to welcome new babies (I prayerfully hope)
-The decade in which I will celebrate 7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16 years of marriage to -my amazing man
-The decade in which I will *gasp* send my baby to school
-The decade in which I will at some point "retire" from work to be a full time mommy for a bit
-The decade of my *ahem..cough, cough* "peak" (or so people say)
-A time for making friendships stronger...and expanding my horizons with new ones
-Embracing every day of life...cause it's almost 1/2 way over at this point. Scary!

I've got to say, I feel very odd about the whole thing. I thought it wouldn't phase me but it is really making me contemplate life, what I've done, what i HAVEN'T done and more.

Any advice from any of you out there? Did you have a tough time with 30? How did you get through it?

National Dress Like a Cow Day!

2009-07-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

I've been a new kick lately. I am a coupon cutting, spreadsheet building, budget queen these days. Always looking for a good deal, searching the internet for discount codes, free stuff and more.

Today is a great day because all Chick-fil-a's across the country are giving away free meals if you dress like a cow!!! Sounds silly, I know. But hey - it's a free meal from a great place! Today I'm wearing all black (as is Grayson) and at lunch time I will apply the white stickers I've cut out into cow shapes all over us, and head to the mall. I'll be sure to get a pic or 2 and post.

If you want to partake in the fun, but haven't done any advance planning, not to worry. Just print out one of these cow masks and wear it to a chickfila - and you'll get a free entree!

http://www.leehansen.com/printables/masks/cow-mask.htm

http://www.freeprintablecoloringpages.net/showcover/Circus_And_Carnival/Cow_Mask

For more details on the cow day click here

My Mother's Day

2009-06-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

Since tomorrow is Father's Day...I thought I'd finally write my Mother's Day post. ha!

Last mother's day, Grayson was still in my belly. So...it was kinda my first, but kinda my not. He arrived just 2 weeks later.

I was looking forward to the first time that I could celebrate my own motherhood on Mother's Day. For years it had been such a bad day for me as I longed for a baby of my own...I know so many of you have been there, and are still there.

At church, I got to sing a song about my little man called "Miracle". It was so perfect because that's what he is to us. Our little miracle that we waited for and prayed for and God gave us in His perfect timing. The biggest goal I had was to make it through the song without crying. We have 3 services so each time I made it through 1, I breathed a sigh of relief, and hoped the next service would be tear free as well. At the 3rd service, my mom decided to bring Grayson in to see me sing. So there I am on the stage and there he is smiling at me from the front row. I SO almost lost it there, but somehow managed to hold it together. At the end of the song there was an instrumental interlude and I went down and brought him back up on stage for me for the end. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life as I got to sing to my little guy. I must say...even though I made it through without crying, there were many non-dry eyes in the house. My church is awesome and they know our story and are so happy for our little miracle as well.

The rest of the day was spent hanging with David's family for a great lunch, and we took lots of pics to mark the occasion. After lunch my mom offered to watch Grayson so that we could see a movie. So we dropped him by at her house, then decided a nap sounded like a better use of the babysitting services. Ha! I must say that it was just about the best nap I've ever had though!

My husband also got me an amazing mother's day gift to commemorate our angel babies. I had been searching for a long time for the perfect piece of jewelry to remember them by, but often find all the birthstone stuff ugly or cheesy. I found these one day online and they were perfect. They fit my simple style for jewelry and can be added to should we ever experience another loss. (A morbid thought, I know, but I can't help but think practically about our future baby-making ventures). I got the silver rings with birthstones for October, June and December, marking the 3 due dates. I wear them every day now and they remind me of where we've been and make me even more thankful for what we have now in Grayson.

Here are some pics from the day. It was a great one and I look forward to many more.

Family Pic

Our future golfer

Grayson and his cousin Brady who is 9 months older - he is truly our "little" man!

Mommy & Grayson

My gift - thanks to my awesome husband

Singing to my miracle

MIRACLE

Lyrics: Linda Thompson
Music: Stephen Dorff

You're my life's one miracle
Everything I've done that's good
And you break my heart with tenderness
And I confess it's true
I never knew a love like this 'til you

You're the reason I was born
Now I finally know for sure
And I'm overwhelmed with happiness
So blessed to hold you close
The one that I love most
Though the future has so much for you in store
Who could ever love you more

The nearest thing to heaven
You're my angel from above
Only God creates such perfect love

When you smile AT me I cry
And to save your life I'd die
With a romance that is pure in heart
You are my dearest part
Whatever it requires
I live for your desires
Forget my own, your needs will come before
Who could ever love you more

There is nothing you could ever do
To make me stop loving you
And every breath I take
Is always for your sake
You sleep inside my dreams
And know for sure
Who could ever love you more

You can see the video of the song here. Disclaimer: I am definitely no Celine Dion but it sure was fun to sing to my baby from my heart.

I'm an Aunt again!

2009-06-14T17:26:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to introduce Tiernan Michael Z to you - my most recent and probably last ever - nephew. He was born at 4:13 a.m. Saturday morning and has red hair. I LOVE him and he sure makes me have the baby itch. Pray for him as he is in the NICU right now for a few days. He's having some blood sugar issues and has a chance of infection so he's on some antibiotics.

My sisters, as well as David's brother all say that their done popping out the kiddos. So now it's up to us to continue keeping the grandkids coming for our parents. A task that we are definitely up for.

Miracle Times Two

2009-06-12T17:52:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of this journey to our little G-man, I had one friend who helped me weather the storm. She's been with me through all the ups and downs, and I in turn have loved being there for her during her journey. We've laughed together, cried together and consumed many a bottle of wine...and dump cakes...together. She and her Grumps tried for 6 years before having a successful pregnancy and have finally received their 2 precious miracles. I'm so excited for my friend Sunny and her beautiful babies - a boy and girl, born on June 8th just before 4 a.m. The middle of the night phone call I received that her water had broken was one of the most joyous moments of my life...after my own water breaking of course.

Head on over to Sunny's blog to wish her congrats. I don't think she's posted anything yet, but I'm sure it's coming soon. She was on hospital bedrest for almost 6 weeks before delivery, so she's recovering and will be back in the swing of things soon. For now, just take my word for it. Her babies are absolutely beautiful and are true miracles!

We often joke, wondering if we each didn't have all these crap times in our life, if we'd still be friends. Our friendship has always centered around being there for each other in the tough times. I am so looking forward to a change of pace and being able to share all the joys and good things in life together. I love you Sunny! You are going to be one amazing mama!