Blog You Very Much

A good idea from Reproductive Jeans - let everyone know the birth story of your blog, and who's blog inspired you to begin yours. Her recent post said:

"So here's your chance to say THANKS to that blogger who inspired you. Share your blog's birth story. Post it on your blog, (feel free to use the logo!) and then e-mail me or leave a comment here, and I will keep a running list (no cut-off date!) of Blog You Very Much posts!"

My "blog you very much" goes to Sunny. Sunny my dear, you have been my infertility guru not only online, but in my real life. You schooled me well on all the nasty things we need to know when ttc - the joys of checking cervical mucus, taking daily temps, charting and oh so much more. You have spent countless hours with me listening and lending an ear and making dump cake when it was oh so needed. And...let's not forget the well timed consumption of martinis, margaritas, wine, beer or whatever else cocktails were necessary to just get through the day.



I read your blog for almost 2 years before I decided to start one, and seeing the support you've received from yours, encouraged me to start one of my own. I love you much my friend. Thanks for sharing your story and making me feel comfortable sharing my own.

What I'm Thankful for This Year

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

It reached the upper 70's here in Northern Virginia today and I rode around with the top down on my convertible with christmas music blaring from my radio. Something isn't quite right about that. Thanksgiving is supposed to be chilly. But whatever.

I must say that the past 2 years have been rough. Through all the ups and downs, it's been tough at times to find things that I am thankful for. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I have so many things to be thankful for. Not that I wasn't thankful for most these things in the past, but my emotions so clouded everything that I didn't take enough time to dwell on the good things in my life. So, here's what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving.....

1 - Of course on top of the list is this pregnancy and little Lefty. I really am still in amazement that all is going well and that in less than a week we hit the milestone of 12 weeks. Tomorrow as we go around the table and say our "thanks" I know this is what will be coming out of my mouth. And...I know the reason for this achievement is God and His timing - so I'm eternally grateful for His hand of blessing on us.
2 - My husband is awesome. I probably don't thank him enough for being such an amazing support and friend. He's seen me at my worst and loves me still...that always amazes me. He's been nothing but supportive through this whole babymaking process and I'm so glad that he is going to be the father of our child...and hopefully more children to come. And as an added bonus, he's quite the hottie and is so funny and can make me laugh like no one else.
3 - My family. Those of you who know me - I'm super close with my parents and my 2 sisters. Some people say we're strangely close, but to me there's nothing strange about. I seriously can't imagine life without any of them in it and am thankful for the HUGE part they play in my life, and the future part they will play in Lefty's life. And....my mom makes the most amazing homemade stuffing on Thanksgiving and my mouth has been watering thinking about for weeks now. Thanks Mom!!
4 - Good friends. I love every one of you who has been a true friend. I am so thankful that I still keep in touch with my 2 best friends from high school - and that we're as close as ever, despite the distance from NY to VA. I'm thankful for new friends God has brought my way to share life with me. The ones who let me cry with them, laugh with them, complain with them and drink with them. You know who you are ladies and I love you.
5 - Modern Technology. Ok...sounds odd. But without the power of technology, all of us going through IF would be so isolated and alone. Instead, we're able to connect in a powerful way over cyberspace and offer support and answers for each other that is so important. I know that this blog has been so therapeutic for me, and all the comments and wishes from other bloggers are such an encouragment.

There is so much more, but these are my highlights. I hope everybody has a fabulous day of eating and spending time with loved ones and that you find many things to be thankful about.

"Reflect on your present blessings - of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."
Charles Dickens

Aaaaaahhhhhhh

Hear that "aaaaahhhhh"? That is a sigh of relief. I received my handy dandy doppler today courtesy of overnight DHL service, and to my surprise - it worked!! I was really thinking it might be too early, so had talked myself into being fine, even if I heard nothing. So I jellied up the wand started slowly rubbing it on my flab down there and after about 45 seconds found the right spot and there it was. My husband, ever the skeptic, made me put it on my heart too to make sure that's not what we were hearing. But the beats were way different. Little Lefty is much faster. I didn't realize the doppler I got doesn't give me a reading of the bpm - but oh well. I really don't need to know that - just need to hear it and know all is well. I have a feeling this thing is going to be my new addicition and that my itty bitty tube of gel isn't going to last very long.

3 month rental of doppler - $84
Overnight shipping via DHL - $20
Peace of mind upon hearing our baby's ticker - priceless

The 2 week wait

Now that I'm pregnant, I still can't get away from the 2 week wait. Every 2 weeks I get an u/s. Which means that I feel great for about 3 days after the good results, then stress out for the remaining 9 or 10 days til the next one. I'm really freaking out about the wait I'm in right now. The next u/s is on the 30th and I will be 12 1/2 weeks at that point. I just need time to fly by til then and let this 1st trimester be over. I've had pink throughout this pregnancy after doing the deed and after doing bathroom business - sorry for the t.m.i. I've had it a few times over past few days and I just need some reassurance. So today, I rented a fetal doppler system so that I can start to listen to lefty's ticker from home. I even next dayed it, and it will arrive tomorrow as Lefty turns 11 weeks. Now I'm hoping that I can actually pick up something on it this early. All the info says I should be able to hear it sometime between 8 to 12 weeks, but I'm not sure. Anyone had sucess with these things? And how far along were you when you could start hearing things?

Introducing Lefty

Breathing Easier

Things have been NUTS for me over the past week....thus my lack of posting. I've been in NY, Florida and now back and am exhausted. But....I am breathing easier and resting a little bit because we had a GREAT ultrasound today. Our "Lefty" is measuring right on schedule at 10w1d and has a perfect heartbeat of 163 bpm. We could see so much more in this one - even the cute little feet! I'll post a pic tomorrow when I get to work, but wanted to update all the blogging buddies on our good progress. We now go back on the 30th at 12 1/2 weeks for another ultrasound. But, you know what, I'm feeling really good about this one and am not worried about that 3% chance of m/c at this point. Instead I'm focusing on the 97% chance that Lefty is gonna keep growing and thriving and come out to meet us on June 10th.

When You Least Expect It

At the end of April we lost our 3rd angel. We sent the tissue to be tested and were told it would take 6 to 8 weeks to get results back. So 6 weeks passed by and I began calling my OB's office weekly to see if results were back. I did this all the way up to hitting 18 weeks. Yes, that is 4 months. And nada, nothing, zip had returned. They assured me that they kept calling the lab, and that my doc had even personally gone to the lab at the hospital a few times to check up in person. But nothing ever came back. We all assumed that it either didn't work or that they lost the info and didn't want to admit it. To be honest at this point I had almost forgotten about it and put it out of my mind figuring we'd never know what the issue was.

So today imagine my surprise when my OB calls me and tells me the results are finally back and to give him a call - 6 MONTHS LATER!! I return his call...he returns mine and tells me he received a letter from the lab dated October 25th. It basically said that the test was completed in a timely manner and that they lost the results for a while...without actually admitting that they had any fault in the matter. He apologized all over the place, but of course it wasn't his fault - he did all he could to get the info back. He proceeded to tell me that the reason our little one didn't make it was that it had trisomy 16 - which means he or she had an extra 16th chromosome. I guess this is the most common chromosomal disorder and most common reason for miscarriages. He said that this is only something that we should be worried about recurring if either of us had tested postive as a carrier for this in our karyotype testing....which neither of us did.

I'm trying not to let the weight of this newfound knowledge overshadow my joy over yesterdays ultrasound. Part of me is concerned for Lefty a little more now...but I'm trying to stay at peace and not let this worry me. It's amazing how things like this come when you least expect it...and I sure wasn't expecting this today....or ever actually.

My doc also said that he had one other letter came in with ours for another couple with a loss at the same time as ours and that their testing came back with "significant" abnormalities. I am thankful that we are not that couple. That we didn't wait all this time to learn something truly awful. That Lefty isn't at higher risk for leaving us. So tonight I will pray for this couple, whomever they are, and hope that they are in a good place to receive their news and be able to overcome the problem, whatever it may be.

Pomp & Circumstance

We're graduating!! That's right, we had our 8 week u/s today with the RE and everything looks so good we get to graduate back to my regular OB. It was amazing to see how much Lefty has changed over the past 2 weeks. No longer just a blob, now there's a definable head, body and little army things. The heartbeat is nice and strong at 162 bpm and we're still measuring a day or 2 ahead at 8w4d. We even got to hear the heartbeat for a few seconds which was beyond cool.

So as you can tell, at the moment I am feeling great about things. Even Mr. W. who is keeping his emotions at bay this time around, is getting excited. This is the latest "good" ultrasound we've seen. Although I made it to 10 weeks with my 1st pregnancy, our furthest u/s was at 7 weeks. So this is pretty exciting for us. I have a sense of relief...at least for another week or so until I start stressing about the 10 week u/s scheduled for November 15th.

So keep praying, keep fingers crossed and keep holding your breath for us cause it's not over yet.

Thanks for all the love and support!