Tis the Season

My husband got off work early today and surprised me by putting up the Christmas tree. Yeah! I wanted to do it this past weekend, but he wanted to at least wait until November was in the double digits. I'm so excited to decorate the tree! But I left my ipod at work and I definitely can't trim the tree without playing the Carpenters Christmas Portrait (a tradition....mom always did it too).

Christmas is just a little over a month away and I'm excited to watch all my fav Christmas movies. Along with the standards like "Christmas Story", "National Lampoons Christmas Vacation", "Charlie Brown Christmas" and more, I have a set of what I like to call new Christmas Classics that have become part of my holiday routine. The list consists of:

Love Actually
The Holiday
The Family Stone
Just Friends

Some make me laugh, some make me cry, but that all get me in the Christmas spirit.

What movies mean Christmas for you?

Grayson Giggles

Faster than a speeding locomotive.....

Little Man

I posted this last tuesday but for some reason it didn't come through....grrr

Grayson had his 4 month check up today. He'll be 5 months on Friday, so I'm a little late, but right at 4 months we were doing all his eye stuff so I'm a little behind. He is doing great and is healthy, but when I call him my little man, he is just that. He's in the 10th percentile on weight, and the 3rd percentile on height, and his head is in the 50th percentile. So basically I have a short, skinny kid with a big ole noggin. Ha!

Remembering

Today I remember. I remember the loss of our first pregnancy....the baby who's due date was today. I remember the loss of our second pregnancy....the bleeding started on this this same day. I remember the worst date ever when both these horrible things converged into one big sesspool of a day.

I also remember that, although the road that brought me here sucked hard core, I am so blessed because of my little man Gray.

I remember all the little ones that those close to me have lost, and shed some tears for them today as well.

I remember also to be thankful for a great friend who remembers with me, who feels my pain again with me each time this date rolls around, and never forgets.

And I could never forget to remember to be thankful for my fabulous mom who remembers without me having to remind...and shows up at work today with flowers, a blueberry cake donut and some dunkin donuts coffee. Seriously...you may think your mom rocks. But mine kicks her tail in every way. :-)

I will never forget to remember.

Watching The Game

I came home from lunch today and found my boys doing some male bonding watching the redskins game...

Sleepover

Grayson had his first sleepover with my parents last night. We scored some hockey tickets and went with Sunny and Grumps into DC for a night out. We were getting back late, so since my parents hit the hay early, it just made sense for the booger to spend the night. So I armed mom with some pumped boobie milk...and some formula just to be safe...then headed out.

This is now the longest stretch of me being away from him. Up to this point I've only left him for 4-5 hours tops. This one will be 14 hours or so. I have to say it feels weird. I couldn't sleep well last night, because I kept thinking he was still in next room and I should check on him....but then remembered he's not here. Don't get me wrong...the break is fabulous. But just weird. It's almost like I don't remember life without him. Amazing how quickly that happens.

Off now to get ready and go pick up my little man. I sure do miss that sweet smile of his!

Oh...and a side note, if you are ever heading into DC....Grumps is the man to drive you! We made it from the Verizon Center to my door in 20 minutes flat! He is the man!

Mmmm Mmmm Good

You think it's been a while since I cleaned out my cupboards? I just went through my shelves and found 38 cans that have expiration dates that have passed. Um...I hate to say this but I even found one that expired in 2006. yuck! My cupboards are now empty, but it sure feels good to rid of stuff. But now I need to go shopping!

Over and Done and all is Well

The MRI on Friday was quite the emotionally draining experience. But thankfully it's over and done. The appointment was at 11, so in keeping with the instructions to not feed him within 6 hours of the MRI, I woke him up a little before 5 to feed him. After that feeding he went back down and slept til almost 8 a.m. At that point I figured he was a ticking time bomb, and that we had about an hour until he figured out he was hungry and started screaming. So an hour passed....and he still seemed quite content. Then another hour passed and we left for the hospital....and he was still fine. We filled out paperwork at the hospital and waited....and he was all smiles. My baby boy made me so proud. (And so did his daddy who kept him in the stroller and walked around in circles with him making silly faces to keep his mind off food).

When it was time to go back to the MRI, the hospital staff was so great. They calmed all our fears, answered all our questions and reassured us that there was a much higher chance of something bad happening to the little guy while on the car ride home (getting in an accident) than having a reaction to the anesthesia.

What did suck though was having to hold him down as they gave him the gas to make him fall asleep. That suuuuuuuuccccccked hard core. Thankfully it only took him about 20 seconds to chill out and about 40 to fall asleep. So we kissed the little man goodbye and left for what they told us would be an hour to an hour and a half. Big fat tears rolled down my face as we walked out.

Time ticked by slowly, and we went to the cafe for a little bit to kill some time. While we were sitting there I saw one of the MRI technicians walking towards us. I swear I saw it all in slow motion as he approached our table. I was so sure he was going to tell us something horrible had happened. Instead he just smiled and said "he's doing great", then went to grab himself some lunch.

The MRI ended up taking 2 hours which of course seemed longer. Once he was done, they let us go back to recovery as he was coming out from being under. This is where the wrath of Grayson kicked in. He sure was pissed. He was screaming, starving and inconsolable. After a few minutes, they let me feed him, but only a little bit because they wanted to make sure his stomach could handle it. You should have seen him flip out when I pulled him off of me. Not happy until they let me finish feeding him a few minutes later. After that he was all snuggly and cuddly and back to his normal happy self. Phew.

Yesterday we got the call from the doc that the results came back just fine. Another huge sigh of relief. We go back to see her in 3 months for another check-up, but that's just routine. He is going to be just fine. His eyelid will be a bit droopy, his pupil a bit small, and possibly the right side of his face won't sweat. And, his right eye will stay blue as can be while his left one continues to darken.

I did always want at least one kid to have my eye color. I guess I should've been more specific and asked for it to be plural. :-) So far the collective opinion seems to be that his eyes will score big with the ladies in his future...and I totally agree.

Confirmed

Yesterday we had the follow-up with the ophthalmologist where she put the cocaine drops on his eyes. The test confirmed that it is Horner's Syndrome - which is caused by a disruption the flow of his sympathetic nervous system. This is either a/ caused by trauma to his neck, which could have happened during delivery or; b/ caused by a lesion or tumor that is blocking the nervous system pathway.

We are of course believing that it is "a", but we have to rule out the possibility of it being something more serious. So on Friday he has an MRI at 11 a.m. at the hospital where he was born. He has to go under anesthesia for it, since there is no way he will stay still enough without it. He also isn't allowed to eat for 6 hours before the procedure, so that's gonna be a fun morning. I really hate that he's going to be so upset and cranky and I won't be able to do a darn thing to fix it. I can just see his little eyes looking up at me saying "why aren't you feeding me mommy?".

Please pray for him and the test results (which we will find out by next Tuesday hopefully). Also pray for me and the husband as we are quite apprehensive and worried about Friday and having to put the little guy under.

I was thinking I wasn't too stressed about this, until yesterday I realized both my normal stress indicators were out in full force. The first thing I do when I'm stressed is grind my teeth together when I sleep. I know I do this because my jaw is super sore afterwards. So last night I wore my oh so sexy bite plate to try and prevent that a little bit.

The second sign of stressing is that I have this weird thing where I get really lightheaded and dizzy. I was having issues with this in the summer of 2007 after miscarriage #3 and was even on anti-anxiety meds for a bit. (Which by the way didn't help - they mellowed me out so much I got depressed....not really a better solution there). The last few days the light floaty feeling in my head has reappeared, and it is so not welcome. I just need to keep telling myself that it is in my control if I can just chill out a bit.

So I'm taking deep breaths and trusting that Grayson is in God's hands and everything is under control. I will be sure to update you all after tomorrow's testing.

His Baby Blues

This week I started noticing that one of Grayson's eyes was starting to change color. Sigh. I was hoping he'd keep his blues like me, but it was looking like he was gonna get brown like his daddy. But the odd thing was, only 1 eye was turning. The other eye was staying blue as ever. As I kept examining his eyes, I started noticing that the pupil in the darker eye was much larger than the lighter eye. Huh. Didn't think much of it, but then when Amber (who watches the little booger on Tuesdays and Wednesdays) mentioned it to me as well, I thought it was better safe than sorry and that I should call the doc. So I did.

This morning I took him in to the pediatrician who checked things out, and then referred me to the pediatric opthamologist. I wasn't really freaked out by this at all yet, until they told me they wanted to get me in today. Not cool. Something must be really wrong if he has to be seen today. Luckily I only had to wait like 90 minutes to get in with the specialist. The Husband joined me at the 2nd appt since I was freaked.

The opt. doc did a bunch of shining lights in his eyes, then dilated them with some drops to get a better lock. She thinks he has Horner's Syndrome - which is characterized by a droopy eyelid (which he's had since birth), a lighter eye color in one eye (which seems to be occuring) and is sometimes caused by a neck trauma (which he had due to forceps during birth).

The good news is, there are no other medical side effects of this syndrome. His vision won't be affected, etc., It's purely a physical appearance thing, and as he gets older, the pupil difference won't be noticeable (only like a 1 mm difference between them) and his eyelid droopiness should become less apparent. It's not even noticeable all the time now. The bad news is, they need to rule out other causes of all this eye stuff. So the poor little guy has an MRI scheduled for next Friday. The thing I'm stressed about is that he has to go under sedation for the test....he's just too little to stay still for it otherwise. I'm quite worried about how his little body will react to anesthesia but am comforted that it will take place in the same hospital where he was born where they have a great children's center. He will be in good hands at least.

They will be looking for lesions or tumors on his sympathetic nervous system. Yikes! I don't like the sound of that at all. I told my husband that I'm not too worried about it being something like that, since it's seems such a textbook case of Horner's Syndrome. He replied with "yeah, but when has anything with us worked out in the classic textbook way.". Um...thanks honey for the vote of reassurance. But...he is right I guess. Still...I'm believing in the best. Mostly cause I just can't fathom the process of having to go through something so rough with the little guy.

We have a follow up appt with the opt doc on Wednesday where she'll put cocaine drops in his eyes. Yep...you read that right - cocaine. One friend of mine thinks it's pretty cool that Grayson will be able to tell his friends that his mom let him do cocaine before his 1st birthday. Ha! Another friend thinks him having 2 different eye colors will make him pretty cool with the ladies in his future. I agree. I kinda like that side effect. It will definitely make him stand out.

I guess after this appt there is a small chance we won't have to do the MRI which would be great. But I'm prepping myself emotionally for the MRI next week regardless...just in case.

Keep the little guy in your prayers and I will keep you updated.

Cuddle Bear

Grayson likes to cuddle with his daddy....


I love my boys!

Grayson's First Trip to the Beach

Time Flies

Yet another month has past by without me blogging. Bad Debby!

I am still here. I am still reading your blogs. But with heading back to work at the beginning of August and how busy the G-man keeps me, I just haven't blogged. I think about it...but then I have no follow through. I will try to be better.

Believe it or not Grayson is already 3 months. Time flies doesn't it?

I wanted to get his 3 month old pictures taken, so being the anal woman I am, I took him on the day he turned 3 months. I did the same with his 1 month pictures...I'm sure I will do the same when it gets to 6 months. And thankfully I just got a brand new printer/scanner so I can share a few of the shots with you.

He sure is a cute little thing and he's all smiles these days which has been so much fun. Enjoy the shots of our little football fan.

No I Have Not....

No I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I am alive and well...and so is my little man. It's just that this whole mom thing has been quite the adjustment and when I do have a few moments to myself on the computer I have to do things like check email and pay bills. I have been reading a few blogs here and there...but typically while breastfeeding and I don't comment because I hate typing with one hand - which is typically all I have free while doing so. But....I continue to add things to my multi-tasking while nursing repetroire. As I type this I am using both hands AND I am feeding the man. I am good. I also can blow dry my hair and do my make up while nursing. It can be tough to get a straight eyeliner line...but hey, you do what you got to do.

I am currently working on my "birh story" post. But that's a long one so it's taking some time. I hope to have it up for your viewing pleasure soon.

Here are some other highlights from the last 8 weeks. (Yes it has been 8 weeks which is CRAZY!)

- Fussy baby. Yep...that's what I have. His reflux sure makes him collicy (is that a word?). It sure stretches my patience but I keep telling myself something a good friend told me to keep in mind. That "this too shall pass".

- Sleep. On this I can't make too much complaint. He is so close to sleeping through night. He typically does a 7 hour stretch from like 9 to 4. He's even gone as long as 8 1/2 before. I LOVE him so much when he does this.

- Car seat. He thankfully has been in a real car seat since about 4 weeks. Our lives became so much easier on that day. Slings, swings, and strollers are such a lifesaver.

-Travel. He is already quite the jetsetter. We succesfully flew to Vermont...just he and I, which was a fun adventure. And....we are currently in Denver with his Dad. He does great on the plane which is nice...I'd hate to have everyone else on the flight hate me.

-6 weeks. My 6 week check up is behind me now and I was approved for all activities. I've been going to the gym a few days a week. It's been great to be proactive in shedding the poundage left to get back to PGW (pre-grayson-weight). I still have 25 pounds to go though....grrr. I also was approved for "relations". I was quite afraid of how this was going to feel because of my awful labor (more on that in my "birth story" post to come), but I was pleasantly surprised. And...we are sans birth control from this point on. Possibly a stupid move....but we just are gonna let whatever happens happen. I unfortunately know that a pregnancy does not always end happy, and I don't want to waste any time on baby # 2.

That's all for now...more to come as I have time....

First Father's Day

My husband celebrated his first real Father's Day on Sunday. For the occasion I bought him and Grayson matching burberry polo shirts. It was also a special day because we dedicated the little man at church.

Here are some pics:


Having their 1st beer together


Dedication


4 generations - husband & Grayson with his Dad and Gpa

We are Home

Grayson is HOME. He got to leave the NICU on Monday morning around 10 a.m. Since then we've been busy trying to get adjusted to life at home and get in a routine. He initially had fluid in his lungs and a chance of infection. The fluid cleared up after a few days on it's own. The infection disappeared...if there even was one in the first place. (They were concerned because I spiked a fever during delivery). Then his issue was his oxygen level. It kept dipping down too low. So...they ended up doing and upper g.i. test and figured out he has reflux. When the reflux comes up, his reaction is to hold his breath, causing the oxygen dips. They put him on zantac, observed him a few more days then finally sent him home with us. It was a long 9 nights that he was in there, and it is great to be done with all that and be home as a family.

He had to leave the hospital in a car bed - not a car seat - and has to avoid anything that puts his body in a "c" shape (swings, bouncy seats, slings, etc., - basically anything that would make my life easier at this point). He failed his car seat challenge in the NICU - where he has to sit in the car seat for 2 hours without his oxygen dipping. Within 5 minutes he dipped. So now he lays flat in the car til we have some follow ups with the pulmonolgist.

That's all I have time for at the moment...but wanted to give an update and some pics. More to come in next few days as I have time about labor and all the rest.

Welcome Little Man

Well...I got my wish and had a May baby. Grayson David was born on Saturday evening May 31st at 11:20 p.m. He was 7 lbs 13 oz and 20 inches long. Currently he's sporting blue eyes like his mama, but we imagine they'll turn to brown like his daddy over time.



Keep this little guy in your prayers cause he is currently in the NICU because of issues with fluid in his lungs. It is quite frustrating to be sitting in my hospital room minus him. Not quite how I imagined things. But...he does seem to be improving and we've both gotten to hold him today which was wonderful.

It looks like he will be in here for a few more days than me, but I'll have more info on all this later as we get more updates from the doctor. And...I'll have some better pics too once we have the right cord for the camera.

I'll post more on my water breaking and labor later on, but wanted to let everyone know he's arrived for now and get you all to pray and cross your fingers for him. Thanks!

T.M.I.

I will warn you all right off the bat that this post falls into the "Too Much Information - T.M.I." category. So...if you don't want to know gross details of my girly parts....please read no further.

First off - had my 38 week appt. today and I am now 3 centimeters dilated. Woohoo!

Then, after lunch I used the restroom and to my surprise had what I guess is called bloody show. I got so friggin excited about this grossness on my tp. I actually screamed "yeah!". But...no one was around to hear me. I then preceeded to skip down the hall and cheerily tell all my female co-workers my news to much excitement and glee on their part. How funny are we women as a species? My mom was especially excited. (yep - I work with my mom - and my dad actually - and my sister and her husband).

So I've done my reading up on this whole bloody business and have found that on average, most people go into labor within a few days of having this appearance. But...of course there are exceptions to every rule and it could mean a big fat nothing. And...as I polled my friends and family, I found mostly that they went into labor within 48 hours of this occuring. One even within 8 hours of it occuring. But then there was the one who ruined it all for me and she went 3 more weeks after seeing it and then had to be induced (But I love you anyway honey, even though your news was a downer). I have also had a lot more pressure going on down there, along with decent cramping now and then.

So my question to all of you is.....what do you think? 48 hours? Or possibly 3 weeks and an induction in my future? Oh how I would love for this baby to come in next few days - I so want that May birthdate and I'm running out of time.

So...please share your gross details with me so I can figure out what to expect here.

Not So Bad

I managed to squeak through another Sunday without people saying anything obnoxious. Maybe it's the holiday weekend and everybody is just too happy with time off and decent weather to say stupid things. Whatever the reason...I'm thankful.

So it's Sunday night and still no signs of impending labor. I'm guessing I'm not gonna get my weekend wish. But that's ok. I'm trying to appreciate the rest of the time I have with him inside me. I'm sure I'll miss his wigglings once he is out. I also have had a few anxiety attacks over the past few days about his arrival. I've shed some tears and done some freaking out about the change that is to come and not knowing what the heck to do with a baby. Luckily, these panics don't last too long, but still, I'd prefer they'd go away. I like being excited about his coming...not scared. Hopefully it's just my crazy hormones.

At Friday's check-up I was 2cm dilated and 75% effaced. Not bad progress. More to come at next Wednesday's appt. I'll keep you all posted.

Reasons Why This Memorial Day Weekend....

Reasons why this Memorial Day Weekend is the perfect time for Grayson to arrive:

1 - Husband has time off work and wouldn't have to use too many vaca days post-birth. Also, this is a great time for my sister who lives 3 hours away to get up here for the festivities as well.

2 - As of yet, I have somehow managed to steer clear of any stretch marks. I know that this luck continuing to 40/41 weeks is a statistical impossibility. And I really don't want them!

3 - I am creeping oh so close to having gained 50....yes that's right 5-0....pounds with this little guy. I have at this point made my peace with this. But....should this pregnancy progress a few more weeks, I fear that the scale will creep over that 50 mark and i am so NOT ok with that prospect.

4 - Our pool opens on Saturday, and on the agenda is going to the pool. It sure would be nice to avoid having to suit up. I don't think whaling is allowed at my pool and it is possible someone could mistake me for one and try to harpoon me.

5 - The fat band I've been wearing on my ring finger since February is starting to get way too tight. I think it may need to come off because of all the water retention and swelling. I really hate the thought of not wearing a ring. So, Grayson, please come out so I can keep it on.

6 - So far we have avoided insane heat this May here in NOrthern Virginia. This is quite unusual...normally we have a few 90 degree days thrown in by now. So nice to have avoided the heat thus far in my huge state...but I bet by next week the temps start to rise and I will have to start to suffer even more swelling and canklage in the heat.

7 - Work is 100% handed off. I'm still doing all my duties til I go into labor. But...all is fully covered for when I'm gone. So I'm totally ready on the work front.

So c'mon buddy....be a good little boy, listen to your mom. Come out and play with us this weekend. Even tonight. Pretty please?

Seriously?

So I'm finding that church is so the worst place to be right now in my so-close-to-the-end state. On Sundays I find that people say the stupidest things. I don't know if they just decide to turn their filters off for the weekend or what, but here's a sampling of some of the comments I received yesterday.

"3 more weeks?! You look like you're gonna pop now. Sure they don't have your due date wrong"
"Are they sure there aren't twins in there? Your stomach is so big it could be holding twins"
"I bet you have a 10 pounder in there"

And my personal favorite....
"I've never seen a pregnant woman as huge as you." (yes...this one is a direct quote)

Seriously? I am NOT that big. I realize I have gained more weight than I should have, and that yes, I am big...but I am by no means the largest pregnant woman I've ever seen. Not even close.

Do people think these comments are cute? Oh please oh please let me go into labor before another Sunday comes.

By Myself, Cankles and NO she didn't!

I am all by myself tonight. The husband is on an overnight golf trip - but don't worry...he's only 90 minutes away should I need him. My parents are actually out of town in Florida too...so should baby Grayson decide he wants to come out tonight, my sister is "on-call" to be my hospital ride. The chances of this happening are slim to none...but one can never be too prepared. And I am a planner.

Also, an update from my world of fluid retention. It is official...I have cankles. My feet and ankles are so swollen that I now no longer have ankles. It's hideous. In the past my legs have been the only part of my body that I was pretty ok with. But gone are those days. Who knew I'd miss my ankles?

Lastly...this is the "no she didn't!" portion of the post. Today I, along with some others, was given a "praise" from an acquaintance. Some of us were sharing prayer requests, and when it was this persons turn she mentioned that she had a praise...an answer to prayer. You see...last week she found out she was unexpectedly pregnant and wasn't so happy about it. So she goes on to say she began bleeding a few days later and was so thankful for the miscarriage because she just so didn't want to be pregnant right now. Um...hello!! Woman who's had 3 miscarriages she mourns deeply standing right next to you! I didn't even know how to react to that one. It blew me away and I just had to change the subject to keep myself from saying something I'd regret. Seriously...who says that?! I mean...even if you think it - wouldn't your filter keep you from saying it?

1+

At my check-up yesterday, after being violated with a cotton swab for my strep b test, I discovered that I'm over a centimeter dilated. This thrills me to no end....forward motion, getting closer all the time to meeting the little man. Only 8 1/2 more cm to go now. I am now to the phase of weekly doc visits - so I'm back again next Friday at 1:10 p.m. Cross your fingers for more opening up action down there. The more of this I can get out of the way prior to actual labor, the better. And...I REALLY want to meet Grayson before the end of May even though offical due date isn't until June 10th. I just like the May b'day so much better for some reason.

That's all the hooha news for now. More to come in a week. :-)

Trying Something New

So as I sit here typing this, I have my feet snuggly wrapped up in ace bandages. Why, you may ask? No....I did not trip and fall and twist anything. Although, with my clutz of a self, that would be a likely guess.

My chiropractor friend Dr. M. tells me that this may help prevent my feet from spreading permanently. When pregnant feet relax, the ligaments spread. If I keep them constricted a bit, it should prevent this from happening.

I LOVE shoes. I love MY shoes. I have a lot of them and have invested significant time and money in them. The thought of not squeezing back into them after this pregnancy makes me want to cry. Superficial? Totally. But I have some great shoes. Irreplaceable shoes. They make me happy. Shoe departments are my happy place.

For now, I am content in my flip flops as the heat has me swollen and unable to wear anything else. But...if these ace bandages can help me squeeze back in my heels in the future, I will be crazy grateful for the advice.

So...we'll see.

Anyone else ever heard of this and if it works?

Dueling Bellies

My dad has a pic like this with both my sisters during their pregnancies. So now it was my turn.



And now that we have a complete trio of dueling belly shots, he promises that he'll lose weight. :-)

I'm just a big softy

Exciting news from my underworld: My cervix is already soft. Woohoo! What does this mean? Well...the doc of course can't make any promises, but it is a decent indicator that I will go early. And at the very least he says that my labor at least won't be as "ardous" because the proper things are already happening nice and early. I guess only less than 5% of those in this stage of pregnancy already have softening of the cervix. Maybe all my wishful thinking for going a couple weeks early is working. Or maybe I'm getting my hopes all up and I'll end up being induced at 41 weeks. Who knows.

So that's all the hoo-ha news for now. More to come in 2 weeks when I get checked again.

The Tour

We got a new toy. Thought I'd use the new toy to show you guys Grayson's nursery:

Worthy

What do you do with the ultrasound pics from failed pregnancies? Well...mine have just been on my fridge for 2 years +. I've always known they wouldn't stay there forever, but couldn't bring myself to take them off until they had a permanent home somewhere else. I felt as if removing them means I don't love them anymore...and I oh so much still do. They are never far from my mind. As Grayson grows bigger and bigger inside me, I still feel the gaping loss from the ones who never got to this point.


I have finally found frames that I feel are worthy of the pics. These are my angel pics new permanent homes:

Angel # 1 - Lost to heaven March 2006 - Frame says it perfectly - "Angel in the Making"



Angel #3 - Lost to heaven April 2007 - Frame says "So little...so loved" Perfectly stated for this little guy, since he measured behind from the beginning.

My husband always jokingly says our 2nd angel must have middle child syndrome since we don't have any pics around of him. But, unfortunately that's just because he was lost too early to get a glimpse at him. But he is just as loved.

Wanted to share my worthy finds in case any of you other ladies are looking for options for your pics. I found these frames at babies r' us.

What the.....?

Well...it's been a while since my last wierd dream. Being just 60 days out from Grayson's due date, I knew the wierdness was bound to show up again. Sure nuf....last night was a wierd one.



In my dream I was due in a few weeks, when all the sudden my left nipple fell off. Yep...you read that right. It just fell right off. Needless to say in my dream I was very stressed out about how I was going to breastfeed without a nipple. And I was very worried about my appearance - if I was only breastfeeding out of one boob, I sure was going to lopsided for many months.



What the.....?

Shower & Belly Pics

It's a boy centerpieces - so cute!

My 2 BFF's made the trip from NY for the weekend - I love them!

My sisters, my niece and the BFF's again

all the loot

She thinks it's ALL for her

Ugh...the Belly Shot - Here I am 30 1/2 weeks - maybe the horizontal stripes weren't the way to go :)

<

Phew!

It has been a busy, busy week and a half. A week ago Saturday and Sunday I was showered - not once, but twice. Saturday was the family shower and out of town friends....Sunday was the church shower with all the ladies from my church. It was a whirlwind of smiling, opening presents and eating cake. I was exhausted at the end of it all and overwhelmed by all the gifts. We piled everything into the house and I have finally finished putting everything in it's proper spot. All his little clothes are washed and in his closet, his bedding is on his crib, his bathroom is set up, his pack n play, swing and bouncy seat are put together and waiting for him, his bathroom is ready to go. I even have finished all the thank you notes. Today I sent out a whopping 101 thank you cards to the guests from all the showers. That's a lot of postage $$! But I am so thankfull for all the loot and our registries at both Babies r us and pottery barn kids are pretty much wiped out....which is huge.

I am so thankful for all the great stuff and a little overwhelmed by generosity. Also overwhelmed with the feeling of being done with all the preparations and having not much else to do but wait for the little guy to cook a little more so he can come out. This is a wierd and strange place to be. A great place....but an odd feeling for sure. The nesting is complete and now it's time for him to come. 2 months to go...we're in the home stretch.

Wow...this is really going to happen.

Going for A Ride

The car seat and stroller have arrived and are all put together and ready for the little man. We decided to do a test ride with our first child, Lady. She didn't seem to like it much, but Mr. W. sure had fun pushing her around the basement.




And...sadly, last Saturday we said farewell to our 2 door convertible and said hello to a practical SUV. Oh the things I'm giving up for you Mr. Grayson!

Down for the Count

Last night right before waking up, I was having a dream that my stomach hurt and I was buying some tums. I woke up to discover it was no dream and that my stomach was indeed quite sick. I thougth maybe I was just hungry and downed some saltines. Big mistake. It quickly became apparent that I have a stomach flu of some sort complete with fever and body aches and chills. I have been down for the count all day long. I haven't left my bedroom, haven't watched tv, haven't even brushed my teeth (yes...I know this is disgusting...I'm hoping to get strength to get up do so prior to hittng the hay tonight.)

So who did I call to come help me out today? My mommy. Seriously...are we ever too old to be babied a bit by them? She stopped by to let the dog out, stock me up with some fluids in a little mini fridge, bring me applesauce and get me set up with the computer in bed and a book. God bless moms. Especially mine who is so completely amazing in every way. I know people say this about their moms, but it is seriously true about mine. I think I lucked out with the best one. Wow...look at me all sentimental on my sick bed.

As my mom took care of me, I began reflecting on little Gray and what type of mom I'm gonna be to him. My mom has always been so selfless with us. Even today, coming over her and chancing gettting sick herself. She also today got thrown up on by my nephew who has the same bug and instead of dodging the puke, just let him do it in her lap. Wow...what a mom thing to do. Now, I still have a hard time imagining myself willingly being puked on, but I do find myself starting to put Gray's needs before mine. In an effort to keep fluids in for him today, I have overcome the puke that was sure to come a few times. Yes...it would offer me sweet relief....but the little guy needs something since I can't give him much at all today. I guess some of that unconditional loving and selfless stuff is starting to kick in. I know I still have a long way to go to be as awesome as my mom. But...I'm happy to see some maternal instinct starting to set in.

One last complaint before I sign off, try to down some saltines so I can take some more tylenol and pass out with the hopes of waking up all shiny and new and feeling good. You know when you normally get the stomach flu and you're puking or on the toilet and lay in bed all day feeling like you want to die? Well....in normal life, there is at least one bright spot to it. The fact that tomorrow you are going to be so darn skinny from the "diet" you never intended to go on. It is the one positive thing that one can look forward to from the stomach flu. But nope...not me. I don't even get that. Yes...I am that superficial sometimes. Can't help it.

Off to bed. Hoping for good things in the a.m.!

From Triple to Double

Well....we've done it. We've crossed over the hundreds of days til Grayson comes, down to double digits. Today my widget tells me 93 more days to go. Whoa! How did we get here? Tomorrow I will be 3 months from due date. This is the home stretch. We CAN do this.

It is all starting to get a bit overwhelming. Not that I'm complaining....I'm so thankful for still being in this game. But there is so much to do, so much to plan for, so many changes ahead of us.

Grayson's nursery is near completion. His crib and changing table are up. The walls are painted. The closet is cleared and prepped. Rocking chair is in place. Curtains are up. So wierd!!

The gifts from registry lists have begun to arrive. On Friday we received our car seat and stroller combo. Boy does that make things so real. On the agenda today - seeing if there is any way in he!! that the car seat will fit in our 2 door convertible. I'm doubtful and have already made a trip to the dealership to talk trade ins...and head back there tomorrow to discuss that more. But we'll see. I hate to say goodbye to my pride and joy over the past almost year. We bought that car on a whim after our 3rd miscarriage last April. It was a silly, expensive, impulse purchase, but the point of it was to put a smile on my face every time I got in it. And you know what..it still does to this day. I hate to get rid of it, but know that soon I'll have a little bundle to put a smile on my face every day instead.

Other things I have been saying goodbye to as of late:

My wedding rings. They were just way to tight and I had to let them go and upgrade (or downgrade depending on how you look at it) to a "fat band" as I refer to it. It's just a simple silver band...and of course it came in a blue box as all things silver should....but I still miss my other rings that have so much meaning.

My bikini line. Yep. I can't see it at all anymore. I know it still exists, but it's sure not in my view. This makes for an interesting go of it for keeping things well trimmed down there. I feel like a blind person just aimlessly playing with a razor. Funny the things you miss that you just never imagined you would.

Sleep. Oh sweet sleep, where did you go? Now I must admit, I've never been the best sleeper in the world anyway, but it's reached whole other levels these days. I'm lucky to get in 4 hours of it. I just can't get comfortable for longer than a little bit. I have the preggo pillow, I do the side thing, I even am still somehow managing to sleep on my stomach some too, but it's all in vain. Sleep evades me constantly. One thing I do know is that I am SO ready for the middle of the night feedings - I'm up anyway!

I leave you with a belly pic. This is actually the 1st belly pic that was taken of me my whole pregnancy. I resisted it until 22 1/2 weeks. I just was so afraid to chronicle things in this way...afraid to jinx things. This is now 4 weeks out of date, and yes, I am definitely bigger since then as the scale creeps so close to 30 lbs gained already. UGH! But...I thought I'd share the first pic of Debby and Grayson together.

Home Sweet Home

I am home. Over the past 2 months I have been a traveling queen. Florida a few times, Arizona, NYC, Texas. Phew. I am exhausted from all the travel and am so happy to be home with no trips on the horizon. I am settling in to nest and do all of the things I need to do to get things ready for Grayson.

I'm almost 25 weeks along and only have a little over 3 months to go til due date. It's getting so real. Grayson is kicking up a storm and we've advanced from just me feeling him, to others being able to feel him, to others now being able to see his little kicks through my ever growing belly. His dresser/changing table is here and his crib will arrive this week. I really am still half in shock that this is all really happening. It's quite surreal.

Quite a boring post here...but just needed to get one out there to say I'm back and more is to come. Promise to post again soon....

You're Welcome

So today I had a normal check-up with the OB. I got weighed (20 pounds and counting - ohmigosh I'm a ginormous whale), got blood pressure taken, peed in a cup, listened to heartbeat on doppler (no biggie since I do so every night at home)...all the normal stuff.

My doc asked if we found out what we were having and I told him it's a boy. To which he replied the normal "oh that's great" yada, yada, yada and then followed that with "Will you be circumcising him?".

Wow...wasn't expecting that one yet. Nor had I really thought about it much I guess. I told him "yes", he wrote it down on my chart, and we moved on. Now, this question disturbs me, not so much because I was unprepared for it, but because I hate that it has to be asked at all. I've been reading that only 50% of boys these days are circumcised...and this just grosses me out. Now I know that there's all kinds of research out there that it's not necessary any more and that people think it's cruel, and that it should be the boy's choice when he's older - blah, blah, blah.

In those seconds between the doc asking me the question and my response, all I could think of were the girls in the future who would be checking out my son's member. (Yes....it would be lovely if it was just one girl...not plural, but seriously, who are we kidding here?) And I just can't bring myself to put those poor girls through that something extra that they don't need to see.

Let's be honest, the male anatomy is not so attractive in the first place. Why keep something extra on there that'll just serve to make something not so hot even MORE unattractive? Yes, future girlfriends of Grayson, you can thank me now, you can thank me later. My son will have a nice, trimmed and easily cleaned willy down there. And you are very welcome.

Updates Galore

Somehow 2 weeks have flown by without me posting. Not quite sure how that happened...so to recap my last few weeks....

Travel....
As I type this I am in Phoenix, Arizona with my husband on a work conference. I must say the 60 degree weather here is a refreshing change from the cold at home. And, in the next few weeks I will travel to Dallas and to Florida 2 different times. I guess I'm just trying to squeeze in as much as I can before my travel cut-off.

Seeing Red...
Yes....dreaded blood was back this past Saturday. I was out to dinner with husband and co-workers, went to pee, wiped and there it was. BRIGHT red. I freaked out in the stall...and then of course had to do some investigating with some toilet paper and my finger to see if anything else was up there. (Yes...I know, this is way too much information). There was not a lick of anything else, but alas, the worrying began. The dinner couldn't end soon enough so I could get back to the hotel and listen to Grayson on the doppler. He sounded perfect as always, and know more red since then thankfully, but I had a 24 hour period of quite the worrying and googling.

Treadmills and nephews do not mix....
In an effort to slow down my rapid weight gain (Oh yes girls, I have now gained 20 pounds - I am a huge moose) I like to walk. It's too cold at home, so I like to use the treadmill at my parents house. One evening last week I started on my walk, and my nephew vinny decided to come in the room and watch me. He's 20 months old and my mom was watching him for the evening. Vinny decided it would be fun to get on the treadmill with me and before I could stop him, or the machine, there he was sliding through my feet and into the wall behind. And, there I was falling on top of him, unable to get up as the machine skidded on. After what seemed an eternity, but was probably only 15 seconds, mom came to rescue and turned it off and helped us both up. Vinny was totally fine...just scared to death. Me, I was freaked. We've all see the Grey's Anatomy episode where the pregnant girl falls in the shower and loses her baby. That's all I could think of. I had a bummer of a bruise forming on my lower back, and quite the burn on my knee. I called the on-call doc and they asked me all kinds of questions like if i was having cramping or bleeding (no) and if I was still feeling him moving (yes). So they told me to relax, get rest and come in the next morning. So I was treated to a quick u/s on Wednesday morning to make sure everything was all good with the little man. And thankfully, it was. Husband says I should avoid all treadmills and excercise and just become big. Not likely. I think I"ll just avoid them when little rugrats are around.

That's the updates for now...more to come I'm sure!

Bittersweet

Just back from Florida where I have been since Tuesday evening. After getting our fun news on Tuesday morning, the husband and I flew down to Florida to mourn the loss of my grandpa. He has had a 5 year battle with cancer and lost to it last Sunday morning. We've all been prepared for this for some time as he had many close calls. But then he always seemed to miraculously pull through and have some more time with us all. He has always been one cool old dude and I will miss him. He missed hearing that we're having a boy by just a few short days. But, I love knowing that even though he doens't get to meet little Grayson anytime soon, he gets to hold my other 3 babies long before I do. Before his passing I told him to check in on them. I don't really know if that's how heaven works, but I like to think it does. He always gave the best shoulder rides when I was a little girl and I picture him up there right now giving those three the same experience I used to have. So for now little angels, have fun with grandpa. Our loss is certainly your great gain.

Gray's Anatomy

What a morning!!! I woke up at 5 a.m. bright eyed and ready to start the day to find out if Lefty is a he or a she. After an eternity of looking at all of Lefty's other parts, the technician finally got to the good stuff. First we saw the little legs, crossed at the ankle all cute, and I thought "maybe I'm wrong, maybe it is a girl since it's sittle all proper and pretty"













But then, the tech moved down a bit, and it was quite obvious that...




Lefty is a boy! This is the bum shot from underneath, and as you can see the little guy has definite male anatomy parts.

So I now introduce to you Grayson David W - expected to join us on June 10, 2008. His nickname will most likely be "Gray", thus the blog title. (Thanks Matt for the help on that one.

I'm so happy to have this appointment behind us and to start calling our baby a real name. Now Grayson, we have much to do before you get here so keep on cooking and we'll see you in June!

Moving and Grooving

Over the past week I have begun to feel our little Lefty wiggling, moving and grooving inside me. At first I wasn't totally sure what it was....could've been gas or anything I guess. But..it's persisted and now I'm sure that it's the little one letting me know it's alive and kicking. It feels kind of like I have this rolly polly in there that does these little turn overs right against my insides. An odd sensation for sure...and not the kicking I was expecting to get first. I guess that comes later. This is all becoming so real now and with the gender ultrasound in only 6 days, that just seals it.

Another thing that continues to move is my weight. And might I say that the number on the scale is moving on up. Rapidly. Much faster than I'd prefer. I hadn't weighed in a few weeks, so today I decided it best to get on scale before an appt. with my OB. I have now passed a scary number for me on the scale (150) and have gained just shy of 15 pounds. AHHHHH! How did this happen? Except for the occassional fast food splurge, I'm really not eating so bad or so much. I was braced for the doc to tell me today to slow it up, but she just told me I looked great and everything sounded great and sent me on my way. Phew! I was hoping to gain no more than 30 lbs. with the pregnancy, but that's looking like less and less of a reality since I'm halfway to that number already and not yet halfway through the pregnancy. Oh well. I guess I need to just do I what I know is best for my body and let it do it's thing without sweating it too much.