We're Getting There

So...sleep has been going a bit better. I've begun topping off S with a few ounces of formula after every feeding. It takes a bit of time, but I'm finding a full belly all day long helps with the sleep at night more than just a top off in the evening. After some feedings he takes an extra ounce, after others he takes 3. It just depends. But, the important thing is we are back to sleeping til 5:30 or 6...and on 2 occasions a little bit later. Phew.

Sleeeeeeep...I miss it.

So. Sawyer will be 6 months in less than a week. And I hate to admit it, but I am still up once for feeding with him each night. Yes, there have been 3 days in the past 175 that he has slept until after 6 a.m. but they are few and far between.

This is new ground for me. Grayson was sleeping through the night every couple nights at 2 1/2 months. Then at 4 months I did a little tough love and over the course of 3 nights he cried it out and dropped it. Night 1 - 20 minutes, Night 2 - 10 minutes, Night 3 - 3 minutes. Pssht. Easy peasy.

Sawyer, well he's got a whoooole different attitude. Crying it out simply doesn't work. Or maybe I'm just not letting him go long enough. I've let him go up to 1:15 minutes before. Boy was that tough. And the end result was only me being up for that whole hour and fifteen minutes and listening to him wail...then tagging on another 30 minutes of no sleep to feed him. So lately, yes, I've gotten a bit softer. I let him go 30 minutes tops and I get in there and feed him, cause let's be honest. I. want. to. sleep. And once he's fed, he's happy and will go back to sleep til anywhere between 7 and 8:30.

But I'm tired. And I'm done. And I've tried it all. He's been topped off with formula. Been given rice cereal. We've played paci tag. None of it seems to work. He's quite stubborn.

Honestly I'm half tempted to just stop breastfeeding altogether to see if a few days of full on formula make his belly nice and full and make him happier and sleepier. (And i love breastfeeding...so this is saying a lot).

Now....I will say this - he goes to bed super early. I've tried keeping him up later to see if it makes a difference and it doesn't. So he has kept his 6:30/7:00 bedtime going down at the same time as his big brother. So this is nice. No complaints there since I get a few hours of quiet adult time each evening. But, depending on the night, he will be up screaming anytime from 3:30 to 5:30. There really is no consistency. And 5:30 I really don't mind. At all. But he seems to be rarely making it there these days. A little regression perhaps? He knows his mama is a little bit of a softy in her older age?

Any advice for a fellow mama here? I just want some sleep.

(oh and p.s. - as i'm typing this he also has totally boycotted naptime today. arghhhhhh!!!!)

Christmas is Almost Here!

Yes, I know I've been a very very bad blogger of late. Getting started on my New Year's resolution a little bit early, and am planning on being more active around here. There is so much to catch you up on, Gall Bladder surgery, Sawyer's growing up, being re-hospitalized after surgery, etc., etc., - but I will save that for later. For now, Merry Christmas from my beautiful boys!

The Santa Pic. Yes I am that mom that tortures her 2 year old and puts him on Santa's lap then runs.

My beautiful baby boy with a smile that will melt your heart. Can't believe he's 5 months already!

My big boy in his "Shanta Kwaus" hat.

Christmas card shot #1. Please excuse the snot dripping from G's nose...colds season is here.

Christmas Card shot #2. I love my sweet boys!

Today I remember

Oct 15 2006. Worst day of my life to date.
Due date of baby #1 - Loss date of baby #2.

Time heals, and so do my boys Grayson and Sawyer. But nothing will ever make me forget. And I can't imagine an Oct 15 rolling around without remembrance and tears.

Also, today another blogger I read lost a baby at 18 weeks - please give her some love over here: http://www.couponingtodisney.com/2010/10/15/i-lost-the-baby/

Travel Week Highs and Lows

We spent a week on the road and in the air....traveling first by plane to Michigan for a cousin's wedding and then by car to Ocean City, MD. Sunday of Labor Day weekend was quite the day as we woke up in Detroit, flew to Virginia and drove to the beach - with an ER stop for Grayson - he had a bad cough that they diagnosed as pertussis. Which ended up being a misdiagnosis. On Wednesday we were back at the ER because he was getting worse and had a 103 fever. Chest xrays revealed a mild case of pneumonia. An antibiotic shot and prescription in hand, we were sent on our way. Thankfully he started to immediately improve and was even able to enjoy the sand at the beach on our last day.

Here are the highs...and lows of the trip....

doing his "funny face"

whatchyou lookin at mommy?

even the dog enjoyed sunbathing on the deck

the entire town was sold out of plastic or inflatable pools - so we improvised with an underbed storage container - and he didn't know the difference!

At the ER...passed out and sweetly pathetic

so sick he couldn't even bring himself to eat his donut

failed attempt at matching pj's pic....grayson wouldn't stay still

sawyer!

cutest lil footprints ever

playing in the sand

Chasing the birds

Jump!

Lining up his shot

He really didn't want to leave putt putt

enjoying the sunset on our last night

Goodbye ocean city! Hope to see you again soon!

I'm sure this will backfire on me, but....

I know that me speaking of this will backfire on me, but I just have to say I'm so proud of my little fella. He slept 10 hours straight last night! 1-0. Wow! He went down at 7:30 and didn't wake up til 5:30. Momma went down at 9:30 and slept til 5:30 (8 hours of sleep? unheard of for me!). It was a dream.

When he went back down at 6 I was actually rested enough to stay up and get some stuff down around the house before Grayson woke up. Heavenly is the only word to describe it.

And now that I've spoken of it, I'm prepared for a night of every hour on the hour feedings tonight. ;-)

Post Pregnancy Weight Loss Tip

Anyone out there looking for the secret to weight loss after baby? The answer is apparently gall stones. :-)

Over the past couple weeks between the stomach problems and the new diet I have to live by in order to stay pain free, the pounds are falling off. I've gotta say I can't complain. The pain I had was horrendous....but the vanity in me thinks it was almost (but not quite) worth it for what I'm seeing on the scale.

Pounds put on with pregnancy: 50. Pounds currently down: 35. Fifteen to go is still quite a bit....but I wasn't down this far after Grayson til he was almost a year old. It was a looooong journey of weight loss for me last time. So this is a nice change...albeit for a crappy (haha...no pun intended) reason.

I met with the surgeon on Friday and the gall bladder is definitely coming out. Probably around the 15th or so of the month (exact date tbd later this week). So for 2 1/2 more weeks I am living on the most boring, bland, lowfat diet ever. I really am starving and going crazy. But the results on the scale help keep me sane. And the great thing is, since I changed the way I eat last weekend I haven't had any pain. Phew. I don't think I could live with that another day even.

So for now, I'm cranky and hungry....but slightly smaller. Which is almost kinda sorta worth it.

Bros

Can't Stop the Clock

My time is up. Six weeks has flown by in the time it takes to snap your fingers. Today I go back to work. It's absolutely amazing to me how I have absolutely zilch desire to do so. You see I LOVE my job and LOVE where I work and LOVE who I work with. But having # 2 has totally changed me. I'm now content to gasp....stay at home. Even after Grayson I was ready to get back into a routine. But now, not so much.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for my job. And even more grateful for the child care situation there. (Both kids are down the hall being watched by a friend with other staff kiddos. I can visit whenever I want. I can breastfeed Sawyer at every feeding. I get to have lunch with each of them each day. Seriously....it's a dream). So I don't really want to complain. Just want to lament at how time flies and I'd love to stop it. Sawyer is already growing so much and changing before my eyes. Grayson gets to be more of a little person every day with new mannerisms and phrases and fun. Someone make it stop!

As I type this morning #1 is going well. Sawyer woke up to eat at about 6:45, then went back down and is still asleep. I then showered and ate breakfast...then G woke up. He's now finishing up his breakfast while watching Mouse and is dressed and ready to go. (I got my hair done while he's eating) I'm almost ready to go...just have to do the make up and clothes thing. Lunch was packed last night so all that is left is getting everything and everyone in the car and going.

Deep breath. I can do this.

The Post Partum From Hell

I've gotta say. This time the post partum 6 weeks have been quite a doozie. Sawyer's delivery was a breeze and he's a pretty good baby. But he sure has put my poor body through the loop.

First came all the back problems. I was down and out for 1 week, and then spent 2 days a week in physical therapy for 4 weeks. Not fun. Although, I'm happy to report all is just perfect with my back now.

Next came my body not quite healing as it should from the delivery. I was back at the OB at week 3 and week 4 with healing issues. I eventually ended up on an antibiotic to combat an infection that was beginning. So issue number 2 solved.

And now...issue # 3. Which takes the cake so far. I've had crazy intestinal issues for a week. I've also had awful pain in my chest that feels like heartburn on crack every 2 to 3 days. I'm left crying and writhing in pain for about 15 minutes each time until it relieves itself with the most heinous burps I've ever heard. It seriously is just as bad as the mid stages of labor I've experienced prior to epidural.

So, yesterday morning was spent in the ER, getting tests and various bloodwork to figure out what the heck is up with me. An ultrasound revealed the culprit. Gall stones and sludge. I now am referred to a general surgeon to talk about having my gall bladder removed sometime soon. That appointment is on Friday.

Now from what I read and hear, this surgery is supposed to be a breeze. It's done laproscopically and I probably will even get to go home the same day. But still, it is surgery to have an organ removed. I've never had any surgeries other than the d&c's for 2 of my miscarriages. And I'm sure I won't be able to breastfeed for a bit due to the anesthetic in my system and such. So, this should be interesting...and not fun.

All Things Are Not Created Equal

Um. I have a problem. Over the past 2 weeks it has been getting bigger....and smaller at the same time. You see I have an um...a lopsided situation.

Boobie A is a good deal bigger than boobie B. This means for some odd reason I'm producing differently on each side. I've tried doing some of the tricks I've read online....having S start each feeding on the smaller side to stimulate it more and I'm pumping on that side after most feedings (when I'm near my pump and not on the go). So far it doesn't seem to be helping. And I know most other people can't notice it but I feel like it's glaringly obvious. Which is embarassing.

I'm not sure what the culprit is for this. With G, everything remained nice and even. And S doesn't prefer one side to another. He spends the same amount of time on both for the most part. Although it is a vicious cycle. Now that side B is smaller, it creates less milk, therefore he spends less time on it. Not sure how to correct that at this point.

So ladies...any other advice out there for my girlies? I used fenugreek with G for just basic milk production, so I'm tempted to try that out again. But I remember smelling and sweating maple syrup when I was on that, which wasn't so pleasant.

Has anyone out there ever had to use an actual drug to stimulate things (like Ra.glan)? Or are those types of things only prescribed when production is an issue on both sides?

Help!

All About Sawyer

Hard to believe my little dude is 1 month old. Let me tell you a little more about my mini man and what I know about him after a wonderful month.

He LOVES to eat and is a little chunkster. He is 1 month old and already growing out of 0-3 month clothes. He only stayed in newborn diapers for about 10 days then moved on to 1's. And I haven't bought a ton of those, because I think 2's are on the horizon in the next few weeks. At his 1 month appt he is in the 75th percentile for weight.

He's not a bad sleeper. We've settled into a routine of him going down somewhere between 7 and 8 p.m. for the night. He then wakes up normally around 1...then again around 4:30 or 5. The other night he went 8 hours though from 7:45 to 3:45. Which was awesome. It would be great if that repeated itself...but I'm not holding my breath.

He's a well behaved little man. His general demeanor is pleasant. He's pretty happy just relaxing in the bouncy seat. Unless that is he's having stomach issues/gas, in which case, he's not happy unless he's being held.

He goes back and forth between bottle and boob just fine. This makes for one happy mama. I've been able to go out on a few dates and have the sitter do his last bottle for the evening. He takes it like a champ, and comes right back to the boob for the next feeding without any problems. He's also had 2 nights with dad as mom has had some girl time with her sisters/mom and with the MIL.

He has a serious case of baby acne. I won't lie. It bothers me. I wish he had a nice smooth complexion...but I'll get over my vanity on this one.

He's quite the sucker. He likes his fists, my fingers and his pacifier. We've already graduated from the green ones they give at the hospital to the Nuk. Thankfully I saved a whole bunch from Grayson and didn't need to purchase any new ones.

He actually likes taking a bath. This one is funny to me because Grayson absolutely hated it and screamed through it each time. Sawyer loves it and gets all calm and quiet. It's kind of sweet.

Here are some shots from his 1 month photo shoot at Pic.ture People. Enjoy!

What Goes Up Must Come Down

Boy do I have a little piggie on my hands in Sawyer. He eats. He eats a lot. One nice benefit of this, is that the pregnancy poundage seems to be shedding a little quicker this time.

With Grayson the weight loss was a slooooooooow road. I think for a combination of factors. 1 - He didn't eat as much...just was a smaller dude. 2 - I think milk supply never got off to a great start since I had to establish it with pumping while he was in the NICU. 3- It was hard to get into the eating right/working out and getting down to pre-pregnancy weight mind set when I knew I just wanted to be pregnant again, and soon. Why work so hard when the ultimate goal was to put it right back on?

So this time it's different. Different baby, different milk production, different mentality towards losing it. Sawyer is 4 weeks old tonight and I am down 27 of the 50 lbs I gained. Now, this is still a long long way from where I need to be. But when Grayson was 8 weeks old, I was only down 25 lbs of that same 50. So I consider this huge progress for me. Right now I'm still going down 2 lbs or more a week, and hope that sticks for a while. Plus, soon I'll get the all clear to work out again which will be nice.

And on the workout front, I've just registered myself for the Disney World half marathon in January. I'm going to be running it with my college roommate while will be great. Now, I'm not really a natural runner. I ran all through high school and college, but never enjoyed doing it, just enjoyed the end results. And I've never done a race that long. And I am crazy out of shape. But, I think this will be a great way for me to lose the rest of the pounds and I love having a goal in mind. I'll start training in September. Should be fun and awful all at the same time.

But for now...I'm grateful for my 27 and look forward to getting the rest of this off and being in my clothes again.

So what do you think? Do they look alike?

Sawyer.....3 weeks old. Hanging at the pool

Grayson.....3 weeks old...hanging at the pool.

Same outfit....different poses.
So.....do they look alike?

Baby Dedication

This past Sunday we dedicated Sawyer at our church. Our church background doesn't do christenings. We do baptisms at an older age after a person comes into a personal relationship with Christ. What we do is have a dedication time, that is really more about the parents than the baby. I guess it's more of "Parent" Dedication then a "Baby" dedication. It's a time for us to stand before the church and God and commit to raise up our baby boy to our best and in keeping with our faith. It's a really sweet time and I of course cried. After the service, we hung with the in-laws and we were able to get some good pics. Hard to believe my little guy is over 3 weeks old already. Where does the time go?

Sawyer's Birth Story

The weekend of Sawyer's arrival, my BFF came into town for a quick visit. She was 26 weeks pregnant and we really wanted to see each other before Sawyer came so that we could get a belly pic together. She came into town Saturday and left Sunday evening. Meanwhile on Sunday morning I passed my plug and had a little bit of blood as well as contractions. I knew Sawyer was close...just didn't know how close. To the left is my last belly pic, taken 1 day before I went into labor.

We dropped my friend off at the train station at 7:30 p.m. and headed home. I sang to Grayson and tucked him in, cherishing what I figured was either the last night, or close to the last night, that it would be just us.

At 9, we headed to bed to watch True Blood before we went to sleep (we are early retirers at night, don't judge). As i headed up the stairs I felt some leakage. It wasn't much, but enough to change my underwear. As I climbed in bed I told David not to get too comfortable, that time would tell if it was my water starting to leak or not. It happened 2 more times in the next half hour and some mild contractions began. So, I texted the sitter arranged for Grayson and called the doc. She said to come on in to the hospital, so I got out of bed, tried to do something with my hair and makeup and made sure everything was in the hospital bag. Before we left we both went in to peek in at G sleeping and appreciate that last moment of just us 3. Amazingly enough I didn't cry...I was more excited than sad at that point.

By 10:15 sitter had arrived and we headed to the hospital. Unfortunately we hit a good bit of traffic on the way. (Brake lights pictured on right....not a sight a contracting girl wants to see) So it took us about 15 extra minutes to get there - and my contractions were starting to hurt by that point. So that was really annoying.

We were at the hospital before 10:45 - I got all checked in, and went to triage for them to check my water bag. I was 5cm when we got to triage and my water still hadn't ruptured, was just leaking. I encouraged them to hurry up and start my IV so I could get my epidural sooner rather than later. Contractions were coming close and were really hurting. They started my IV and sent me to my Labor and Delivery room. On the way, we saw my family in the hall (my younger sister, Mom, Grandma and Dad).

The next hour or so I just spent making it through each contraction as they got worse and worse waiting for the epidural. The anesthesiologist was in an emergency c-section so I had to wait. Finally he came in, and I breathed a sigh of relief that the pain was about to be over. I'd gone way past the pain level I was at with G's labor before getting the epidural and was ready to be done. Unfortunately he had a booger of a time finding the right spot to put it in. He dug around my spine through 2 contractions before saying he'd have to switch to another vertebrae because the space was too tight. It. Was. Awful. Numbed or not....someone digging around your spine is painful. Finally he got it in and relief came.

At that point they checked me and I was at 7cm. They broke my water the rest of the way and guesstimated that I'd be ready to go in about an hour. At this point the family came back in and we had a fun little party for a bit while we waited. My in-law's arrived by this point too.

Sure enough, an hour later my cervix was gone and I was ready to push. Everyone left the room at this point except David, my mom, my grandma and my sister.

I only had to push through 5 or 6 contractions over 20 minutes. This is a HUGE improvement over last time. Towards the end, Sawyer's heart rate was dropping just a bit (to about 96), so they wanted to get him out. The doc used the vacuum for 2 pushes at the end to help out a little.

At 2:56 we finally met Sawyer. My first thought was that he looked just like Grayson, minus the forceps horns. They let me hold him right away which was amazing. Somehow I didn't cry - I just smiled and laughed and was so happy to meet him. They took him away to clean him up and do his weight (8lbs 13 oz - a whole lb bigger than G) and 20.5 inches long (a half inch bigger than G). Once all the formalities were done, he came back to my arms all wrapped up in his cute little hate and blanket. We cuddled a bit, then passed him around to Daddy and the other visitors. It was so nice to have that experience. I have all the happy pics of this moment that I didn't get to have last time.

After the family had all met Sawyer and gotten their photo op, they all said their goodbyes and left us alone. I put Sawyer to my boob to see what would happen and he began eating like a champ. No latch issues or anything. The boy was a natural eater! (Not surprising since I am too!).

At 5:30 a.m. we were finally in the post-partum room and it was time for some rest. I was soooo exhausted. David went home to relieve the sitter, and was coming back with G when visiting hours began around lunchtime.

So from start to finish the whole labor only lasted less than 6 hours from the uncertain start to the finish. Not bad.

And we have a beautiful healthy baby boy. I am one extremely thankful mama for an experience with Sawyer that was smooth and exactly as it should be - from 2 pink lines to "it's a boy!".

Alive & Well

Sorry for my silence. Things have been busy....but good. Quick updates for now, more to come later...

Finally posted the Birth Story, so check that out

My back is doing MUCH better. That unfortunately sucked a week away of my life where I had to have constant help to take care of my boys. But thanks to physical therapy I'm doing way better. Still hitting PT 2 times a week to keep things stable, but I am pain free. I just get a little tight now and then, which I can deal with.

Sawyer is a little piggy! At his 2 week appt. he weighed in at just shy of 10 lbs putting him in the 99th percentile for weight. Quite the change from Grayson - who normally was in the 3rd percentile (as in 3%).

Weight Update - I'm 24 lbs down - pretty much halfway there as I gained 50 lbs yet again. It does seem to be coming off a bit faster this time. I attribute that to Sawyer and the amount he eats - which is quite a bit! Still have a looooooong way to go though to be back in any of my clothes.

Adjusting to Two. I think I've settled into life with my 2 boys quite well. For the most part it doesn't overwhelm me and I'm able to do all that I need to on my own. We've ventured out without trouble and had lovely days at home. It definitely has it's challenging moments but it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

Date Night - Yes! They are back. Last friday we left both boys with a sitter so that we could go out and celebrate my husband's bday. Sawyer did great, eating a bottle and going to bed as he should. The night was a success so we are doing it again this Friday! I LOVE my regular sitter, and HATE that I'm losing her to college again in a few weeks. So...we are taking advantage of having a trusted person watching S while we can.

Back Update

So the sports medicine doc didn't think it was joints...he thinks it's a muscle issue. Which honestly I way prefer. The joint thing seemed kind of unfixable. Muscle issues just need a little time and tlc to work out. So I am now on muscle relaxers round the clock (totally safe while breastfeeding) and I start some physical therapy this afternoon. The muscle relaxers don't seem to be doing much but making me really sleepy. Really hoping the physical therapy helps and they are able to show me some stretches and stuff that will help work this out.

Keep me in your prayers peeps. This is getting really old and my post partum emotions can't take this much longer.

Breastfeeding Must Have #4

This is something I wish I had known about when I was breastfeeding Grayson. It collects the milk you leak from the boob that isn't feeding the baby. This is especially handy for that first feeding of the day when leakage tends to be most.

I don't know about you, but I work HARD to store up a supply of breastmilk in the freezer for the times I can't be with my baby. So this little invention is great because you don't have to waste a single, precious drop. I've been using it for the first morning feeding when I'm particularly engorged. Right now I'm collecting about a 1/2 ounce per use. And I imagine this will only keep going up and envision that as S gets older and eats more, I'll be collecting a couple of ounces each time I use it. This is my new fav by far.

It's called the Milk Saver by Milkies. You can read more about it here and can buy it here or here.

Deal Alert on Hooter Hiders!

In a previous post I raved about Hooter Hiders. Here's a great deal on one! Udder Covers has their 6 nursing covers on sale for $9.95 shipped! Just use the code cute at checkout and all you pay is shipping!

I personally like this one best....cause I think the dark is more discreet. I already own this one and am gonna pick up an extra one at this price for a preggo friend.