Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Over and Done and all is Well

The MRI on Friday was quite the emotionally draining experience. But thankfully it's over and done. The appointment was at 11, so in keeping with the instructions to not feed him within 6 hours of the MRI, I woke him up a little before 5 to feed him. After that feeding he went back down and slept til almost 8 a.m. At that point I figured he was a ticking time bomb, and that we had about an hour until he figured out he was hungry and started screaming. So an hour passed....and he still seemed quite content. Then another hour passed and we left for the hospital....and he was still fine. We filled out paperwork at the hospital and waited....and he was all smiles. My baby boy made me so proud. (And so did his daddy who kept him in the stroller and walked around in circles with him making silly faces to keep his mind off food).

When it was time to go back to the MRI, the hospital staff was so great. They calmed all our fears, answered all our questions and reassured us that there was a much higher chance of something bad happening to the little guy while on the car ride home (getting in an accident) than having a reaction to the anesthesia.

What did suck though was having to hold him down as they gave him the gas to make him fall asleep. That suuuuuuuuccccccked hard core. Thankfully it only took him about 20 seconds to chill out and about 40 to fall asleep. So we kissed the little man goodbye and left for what they told us would be an hour to an hour and a half. Big fat tears rolled down my face as we walked out.

Time ticked by slowly, and we went to the cafe for a little bit to kill some time. While we were sitting there I saw one of the MRI technicians walking towards us. I swear I saw it all in slow motion as he approached our table. I was so sure he was going to tell us something horrible had happened. Instead he just smiled and said "he's doing great", then went to grab himself some lunch.

The MRI ended up taking 2 hours which of course seemed longer. Once he was done, they let us go back to recovery as he was coming out from being under. This is where the wrath of Grayson kicked in. He sure was pissed. He was screaming, starving and inconsolable. After a few minutes, they let me feed him, but only a little bit because they wanted to make sure his stomach could handle it. You should have seen him flip out when I pulled him off of me. Not happy until they let me finish feeding him a few minutes later. After that he was all snuggly and cuddly and back to his normal happy self. Phew.

Yesterday we got the call from the doc that the results came back just fine. Another huge sigh of relief. We go back to see her in 3 months for another check-up, but that's just routine. He is going to be just fine. His eyelid will be a bit droopy, his pupil a bit small, and possibly the right side of his face won't sweat. And, his right eye will stay blue as can be while his left one continues to darken.

I did always want at least one kid to have my eye color. I guess I should've been more specific and asked for it to be plural. :-) So far the collective opinion seems to be that his eyes will score big with the ladies in his future...and I totally agree.

Thursday, September 25, 2008


Yesterday we had the follow-up with the ophthalmologist where she put the cocaine drops on his eyes. The test confirmed that it is Horner's Syndrome - which is caused by a disruption the flow of his sympathetic nervous system. This is either a/ caused by trauma to his neck, which could have happened during delivery or; b/ caused by a lesion or tumor that is blocking the nervous system pathway.

We are of course believing that it is "a", but we have to rule out the possibility of it being something more serious. So on Friday he has an MRI at 11 a.m. at the hospital where he was born. He has to go under anesthesia for it, since there is no way he will stay still enough without it. He also isn't allowed to eat for 6 hours before the procedure, so that's gonna be a fun morning. I really hate that he's going to be so upset and cranky and I won't be able to do a darn thing to fix it. I can just see his little eyes looking up at me saying "why aren't you feeding me mommy?".

Please pray for him and the test results (which we will find out by next Tuesday hopefully). Also pray for me and the husband as we are quite apprehensive and worried about Friday and having to put the little guy under.

I was thinking I wasn't too stressed about this, until yesterday I realized both my normal stress indicators were out in full force. The first thing I do when I'm stressed is grind my teeth together when I sleep. I know I do this because my jaw is super sore afterwards. So last night I wore my oh so sexy bite plate to try and prevent that a little bit.

The second sign of stressing is that I have this weird thing where I get really lightheaded and dizzy. I was having issues with this in the summer of 2007 after miscarriage #3 and was even on anti-anxiety meds for a bit. (Which by the way didn't help - they mellowed me out so much I got depressed....not really a better solution there). The last few days the light floaty feeling in my head has reappeared, and it is so not welcome. I just need to keep telling myself that it is in my control if I can just chill out a bit.

So I'm taking deep breaths and trusting that Grayson is in God's hands and everything is under control. I will be sure to update you all after tomorrow's testing.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

His Baby Blues

This week I started noticing that one of Grayson's eyes was starting to change color. Sigh. I was hoping he'd keep his blues like me, but it was looking like he was gonna get brown like his daddy. But the odd thing was, only 1 eye was turning. The other eye was staying blue as ever. As I kept examining his eyes, I started noticing that the pupil in the darker eye was much larger than the lighter eye. Huh. Didn't think much of it, but then when Amber (who watches the little booger on Tuesdays and Wednesdays) mentioned it to me as well, I thought it was better safe than sorry and that I should call the doc. So I did.

This morning I took him in to the pediatrician who checked things out, and then referred me to the pediatric opthamologist. I wasn't really freaked out by this at all yet, until they told me they wanted to get me in today. Not cool. Something must be really wrong if he has to be seen today. Luckily I only had to wait like 90 minutes to get in with the specialist. The Husband joined me at the 2nd appt since I was freaked.

The opt. doc did a bunch of shining lights in his eyes, then dilated them with some drops to get a better lock. She thinks he has Horner's Syndrome - which is characterized by a droopy eyelid (which he's had since birth), a lighter eye color in one eye (which seems to be occuring) and is sometimes caused by a neck trauma (which he had due to forceps during birth).

The good news is, there are no other medical side effects of this syndrome. His vision won't be affected, etc., It's purely a physical appearance thing, and as he gets older, the pupil difference won't be noticeable (only like a 1 mm difference between them) and his eyelid droopiness should become less apparent. It's not even noticeable all the time now. The bad news is, they need to rule out other causes of all this eye stuff. So the poor little guy has an MRI scheduled for next Friday. The thing I'm stressed about is that he has to go under sedation for the test....he's just too little to stay still for it otherwise. I'm quite worried about how his little body will react to anesthesia but am comforted that it will take place in the same hospital where he was born where they have a great children's center. He will be in good hands at least.

They will be looking for lesions or tumors on his sympathetic nervous system. Yikes! I don't like the sound of that at all. I told my husband that I'm not too worried about it being something like that, since it's seems such a textbook case of Horner's Syndrome. He replied with "yeah, but when has anything with us worked out in the classic textbook way.". Um...thanks honey for the vote of reassurance. But...he is right I guess. Still...I'm believing in the best. Mostly cause I just can't fathom the process of having to go through something so rough with the little guy.

We have a follow up appt with the opt doc on Wednesday where she'll put cocaine drops in his eyes. Yep...you read that right - cocaine. One friend of mine thinks it's pretty cool that Grayson will be able to tell his friends that his mom let him do cocaine before his 1st birthday. Ha! Another friend thinks him having 2 different eye colors will make him pretty cool with the ladies in his future. I agree. I kinda like that side effect. It will definitely make him stand out.

I guess after this appt there is a small chance we won't have to do the MRI which would be great. But I'm prepping myself emotionally for the MRI next week regardless...just in case.

Keep the little guy in your prayers and I will keep you updated.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Cuddle Bear

Grayson likes to cuddle with his daddy....

I love my boys!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Time Flies

Yet another month has past by without me blogging. Bad Debby!

I am still here. I am still reading your blogs. But with heading back to work at the beginning of August and how busy the G-man keeps me, I just haven't blogged. I think about it...but then I have no follow through. I will try to be better.

Believe it or not Grayson is already 3 months. Time flies doesn't it?

I wanted to get his 3 month old pictures taken, so being the anal woman I am, I took him on the day he turned 3 months. I did the same with his 1 month pictures...I'm sure I will do the same when it gets to 6 months. And thankfully I just got a brand new printer/scanner so I can share a few of the shots with you.

He sure is a cute little thing and he's all smiles these days which has been so much fun. Enjoy the shots of our little football fan.