Thursday, October 4, 2007

Here We Go Again

I've been quiet the last few days. Silence always has it's reasons, and mine is that on Saturday morning my pee told me that I am once again pregnant. I have to admit my 1st reaction was not joy. I'm not feeling ready to go through all of this again, and I'm definitely not ready for another loss. (Kind of silly since the ultimate goal has always been get pregnant, have baby) So, I'm choosing to believe in 2 things right now. 1 - my fortune about my changing luck. It really does HAVE to change at some point and now seems like a great time. And 2 - that my God is bigger than this whole thing and is in in control. I'm in his hands in good or bad, and there is no better place to be.

So for now I wait. I tested stinkin early so I'm only 4 weeks 2 days. Time is a dragging. I have bloodwork tomorrow and 1st u/s in 2 weeks. My 2nd loss was an early one - at 4 weeks 3 days, so tomorrow is a big day for me. I need to get beyond that to feel like this one is going to stick. I've peed on 4 sticks since Saturday and all are bright pink....good sign. Here's to all good signs from here on out. I can do this! Can't I?

P.S. - for those readers who also know me in "real" life - I'm not spreading this news far and wide...so please don't share my news with others.

17 comments:

jill said...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

choose me. . . . love me said...

I am so happy FOR you!!!!!!! My lips are sealed. I'm going to start praying so hard. Thanks for sharing, and I'll see you in a couple days, and maybe give you a knowing smile.

Meghan said...

Just stumbled across your blog and am so excited to say CONGRATS!! Good luck with your bloodwork and u/s

Tina said...

Wow, are we in the same boat right now! Three losses here - and my goal is to 1) finally get some good betas and 2) to see progress at my u/s on 10/24. It is not easy to live through...

Hope your fortune proves to be the change you needed...

Amber said...

I am praying! Love YOU!!

tracey said...

Praying. That's all. Just praying.

Sunny said...

You know what I am doing and where I am if you need me.

Katie said...

I am happy for you - and amazed you kept "quiet" for so long. Have had several miscarriages - and most early - and know your fears right now. My therapist always tells me this and I TRY to listen. Our control is not over this. We have no control over what will happen to our precious babies, beyond proper prenatal care and nutrition. What we do have control over is our emotions. We can value each minute of our pregnancies and hopefully a happy ending, or value each minute and unfortunately, have it end in tears. But at least we lived up the good moments, even if they were fleeting. I am wishing good things for you.

Kristen said...

So very happy for you! I hope your fortune is changing for the better. Praying for a happy and healthy 9 months for you :)

Hez said...

Congratulations!

Carrie said...

Great news. I know the terror of early pregnancy, it is truly awful BUT be strong, this has every chance of being 'it'. Yeah!

Ms. Infertile said...

Just came across your blog after reading stirrup-queens. Congratulations on your positive.

Manda said...

Congrats!! I'll hold my breath with you and pray this one sticks.
What a wild ride.

Kim said...

Congratulations on the positive test! I am praying for a great u/s.

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